u/Existing_Will_9135

Whoever submitted Melanie’s album/song for the Grammy’s…. Please, I need your ass eaten out because my goodness the humiliation is insane 😭

(LOOONGG RANT)

I’ve been looking through the submissions for the categories that Melanie is supposedly submitted in and I’m sorry, do fans really think she’s gonna get any of it??:

For Best Pop Vocal Album:
- Zara Larsson; Midnight Sun
- Taylor Swift; The Life of a Showgirl
- Olivia Dean; The Art of Loving
- Olivia Rodrigo; You Seem Pretty Sad For a Girl So In Love
- Ariana Grande; Petals
- Doja Cat; Via
- Bruno Mars; The Romantic
- Lady Gaga; MAYHEM Requiem
- Jade; That’s Showbiz Baby!

“But these guys are well known, she’s an indie/underground artist!! 😤” - -
- Haute & Freddy; Big Disgrace
- Hemlocke Springs; The Apple Tree Under the Sea
- Faouzia; Film Noir
- Holly Humberstone; Cruel World

For Song Of The Year:
- Where is my Husband? (Raye)
- RUNWAY (Doechii ft. Lady Gaga)
- The Cure (Olivia Rodrigo)
- Fever Dream (Alex Warren)
- Risk It All (Bruno Mars)

For Best Pop Solo Performance:
- The Cure (Olivia Rodrigo)
- Risk It All (Bruno Mars)
- The Dead Dance (Lady Gaga)
- Fever Dream (Alex Warren)

For Record Of The Year:
- Where Is My Husband? (Raye)
- I Just Might (Bruno Mars)
- RUNWAY (Doechii ft. Lady Gaga)
- New Religion (Bebe Rexha ft. Faithless)

And I’m sure other categories but it’ll just repeat submissions. Look, Melanie has definitely branched out of her old career style and I’ll admit, it sounds better than her previous albums. But, here’s a few things that she either needs working on or needs to let go if she ever wants to get a Grammy award (my opinion):

1. Let go of these characters, Melanie. There’s a reason why artists don’t do that anymore; because you don’t get an authentic version of yourself and instead you get people questioning if the songs/lyrics pertain to you YOU or the character, leaving the song/album very messy.

2. Cohesiveness. At least you’re other albums had a cohesive narrative (albeit not so much PORTALS but I’ll give the benefit of the doubt that it’s an album transitioning from fictional character Crybaby to real person Melanie, HADES has no backing). Like here, I’ll summarise what I mean:
   Crybaby - A young child goes through trauma
   K-12 - That same child goes to school and learns about her world
   PORTALS - That same child “dies” and is reborn as a fairy nymph in the afterlife, then reincarnates
   HADES - …. um… The world is in shambles and almost apocalyptic and…. The main character (not the same child but is a child..)…. Is…. Going through it..? But it’s a criticism of OUR world due to global warming, social media, celebrity culture, billionaires hoarding wealth, cults..? But also…. It’s about a fictional character who is born from a cult and is going through a fictionalworld run by fake AI celebrities and she’s the only real one there…

3. lyrics. What happened? The instrumentals/production improved which is great but the lyrics took a fucking dive of a building, head first. At least the other albums had lyrics that gave a sense of depth with metaphors that MADE SENSE. Here’s a game; I’ll give you lyrics and you have to guess their song meanings, got it?

“Went down on my ???, gave him diabetes”

“The hospital’s filled with coke coloured eyes”

“Put him in the dirt girl, shit on him”

“Call the cops, I’ll feed two birds with one stone”

“I’ve been so horny lately, no, like horns are growing out of my face, like”

“To turn into a ‘I don’t give a single fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck, machine”

“Threw flour on him, look like a mummy, pull his teeth out one by oney -“ “- crack an egg on his bruised up tummy, let him cook”

Good luck.

(This tangent really went somewhere else 😅)

Tell me why I’m seeing so many comments, posts, and videos (mainly on TikTok) where fans are constantly comparing Melanie to other female artists, more specifically Ariana Grande and Christina Aguilera.

“Melanie clocks Christina’s tea!!! She’s got more followers on Spotify than her!!”

“How dare Christina do her job and judge Melanie during the Voice era!!”

“Melanie has more mature and deep lyrics than Ariana!””

Like??? There’s no way in any universe you’d think Melanie is reaching the heights of:
Ariana Grande - multi-Grammy Award winner. Multiple number 1 spots on Billboards with songs such as “Thank you, Next” and “7 Rings”. Actually has nominations for BEST ACTING in movies such as “Wicked” and has acting accreditations from shows such as “Victorious” and “Sam & Cat”.

And

Christina Aguilera - LITERALLY defined an era during the late 90’s and early 00’s with songs such as “Hollaback Girl” and “Genie In A Bottle”; to the point where Rolling Stone has defined her as the “Voice of a Generation”. And just like Ariana, has multiple Grammy awards including a Latin Grammy award.

….

I know it might read as if I’m mad but honestly I’m just annoyed at how the fans are acting right now, really trying to tear down other artists because…. What? You don’t think Melanie can thrive on her own without being compared? Get a fucking grip and grow up (for both young fans and ADULTS).

Why have I not seen anyone talk about this book that came out alongside the album? I’ll tell you why: because two things - 1) it has practically nothing to do with the album itself, and 2) it just doesn’t make sense narrative/world-building wise.

The TL;DR: The character doesn’t make sense within the context of the world being built and Melanie has genuinely lost her storytelling spark.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRNooWAZZgb_TA_cjOsmoO-rxuM8pWk96Fbi1Q_bN_RonkMjG4ZMzfSuej3VxjzmJ2L6-kcJ3ueprsV/pub

(I wrote this btw, just to be clear. And also it's a long rant, so hope you can waste your time like I did.)

RANT RANT RANT

Yeah, yeah, another Hazbin Hotel rant. sooo unique.

But seriously. Why does this show bitch slap me for thinking about its worldbuilding? I would go on a full-on tangent, but my brain is already fried so here’s a rapid fire of takes I got:

- Sir Pentious: Why the fuck can he not go to Hell? Emily, Sera, and the narrative completely ignores this plot hole just to have that random plan at the end but why can’t he? “Well, it’s because the power of sin will cause him to fall!” That’s headcanon. He’s the first and only sinner to be redeemed and make it to heaven. For all we know, him going to Hell WOULDN’T cause him to sin because of some divine holy light protecting him. boom. counterpoint.

- Sir Pentious goes to hell for not reporting a crime which, btw, happened in the 1800’s where technology of crimes was literally horseshit. There’s a reason the killer didnt get caught and it’s because of the limited technology at the time. It wouldn’t have matter if Pentious reported them, he’s just an eye witness in a sea of eye witnesses. “But he said it was a client” and the killer can just deny it. What’s Pentious gonna do? Take a photo???

- Hell: Who cares about the people?????? Hello? Not a single one of them has ever been shown to WANT redemption other than the main characters/adjacent. When heaven announced their genocide plan, I felt happiness because thank god they’re culling the murderers, rapists, molestors, cannibals, misogynists, capitalists cunts, etc. “But-but-but-but,,, what about - -“ SHOW ME THEN!!!!! If there’s good people in hell, SHOW ME!!!! The one only sinner who’s NOT related to any of the main characters was the rooster dude, which they literally dismissed for a joke.

- Denizens of Heaven. I guess no one gives a fuck that the first ever human is full on dead now.

- Except for Lute….. which is why we ended the show with a man telling her to shut up!! 😃

- Vox can brainwash and manipulate people. He can also control technology. He also becomes stronger through ratings. brainwash people -> manipulate them to give good ratings through their techs -> boost in ratings -> infinite glitch. Already solved his problems. No need to cause a smear campaign against Charile. Because no one gives a fuck in the first place (except apparently they do now).

- Bio-engineering; attempt to mimic biological systems to create products or modify and control biological systems (Wikipedia). Examples include creating pacemakers to mimic the heart, creating prosthetics to replace limbs, creating pills to tackle diseases, etc.….. So why the FUCK can Baxter, the self-proclaimed bio-engineer create an entire TECH-BASED System for Vox that for some reason, reaches both Earth and Heaven??????? What?????? (Also apparently bio-engineering wasn't really “discovered” until the mid 1900‘s; WWII, and the term was coined in 1954. Years after Baxter’s apparent titanic-inspired death…)

- Alastor, Alastor, Alastor….. god I hate this fucking guy. But seriously: So he became the strongest sinner by essentially wishing for it through a contract with another demon during his living life. Ok. And we know he “disappeared” for 7 years. Got it? So riddle me this; how was Alastor still the strongest sinner during those missing years? If he wasn’t there, how did no other sinner try to take that title? Overlords? No? Fuck, they shouldnt even try to take his title. It should’ve been automatic, right? If he disappeared, the next strongest sinner would become the primary strongest sinner. Which should then break his contract with Rosie. No?

- Also, Rosie? She’s clearly not the strongest sinner because the contract would not have been made. But if that’s the case, how do contracts work? Can just any sinner create a contract to become the strongest? Or is there as certain amount of…. “Power” needed to make one? Do you need to own a business as seen with Valentino? But apparently there’s also no limitations on who can be contracted as in Season 2, both Husk and Nifty are overlords who are contracted to Alastor, Alastor makes a contract with Vox, and Charlie, the fucking PRINCESS OF HELL makes a contract with Alastor… so there’s really no limitations at all???

- Powers; I’m not one for powerscaling nor will I die on a hill to defend certain powerscaling characters but what the fuck is going on??? So you become powerful from how much souls you have under contract (S1) but also based on physical/magical strength (Alastor, Lucifer), but ALSO through individual abilities (Vox, Valentino, Velvette, Husk, Lucifer, Charlie), but ALSO ALSO through divine strengths (the angels), but ALSO ALSO ALSO through just plain material weaponry (Angel, Cherry, Nifty, I guess Vaggie, Carmilla). I can’t tell when a character will be in genuine danger when there are thousands of ways to defend yourself from harm.

I’m sure there’s countless more but those were the ones that really stood out for me.

So I’ve been seeing people say that Melanie had attended Billboard’s Women In Music red carpet and I went to see for myself what was going on, cause I don’t really know the event. But tell me why, when I went to Billboard’s TikTok, saw so many TikTok’s and the women in there (beautiful btw except…. Well).

But something that stood out to me was how not only did you have Melanie’s fans practically begging on their bruised knees for their queen to be posted, but the way how in majority of other posts you can hear cameras popping off and paparazzi’s screaming for them to pose and such, and then you get to Melanie, and it’s just….

Background chatter.

Don’t even get me started with how practically everyone was giving interviews and her’s is just nonexistent.

Just some random thoughts and laugh. 🤭

Exactly what the title says.

Seeing so many fans talk about her being “deep” and a “lyrical genius” is so stupid when you really look at the songs and see what solutions Melanie has in place for them.

What’s that? Religious people/men are using their religious beliefs to shit on other people for the way they live their lives and use their spiritual/political power over others to make and enforce harmful laws that’ll harm and potentially kill others??? They’re just closeted gay men who need to fuck each other. Boom, problem solved 🥰

What’s that? Billionaires are destroying the environment, buying houses by the dozen for profit and assets while the lower class struggle to survive each day because of late stage capitalism and inflation???? Just grow a garden and dance naked in the forest!!! 🧚‍♀️ ✨ 💖

What’s that? Dangerous, red-pilled men are harming and killing women and treating them like sex objects with no personal desires of their own and will do anything to keep them down or subservient, all because of literally decades of patriarchy instilled within our society enforcing young men and boys to follow or else they are labeled weak like women???? Just fuck them and leave them, take that patriarchy!!! 😜 😘 👅

It’s either that or her just suggesting that women should be the ones to do all this!!! See, much better.

No one should look up to her, for her lyrics nor her views of the world in such black and white.