Help i don’t know happening anymore and i need clarity
Hello, I want the girls point of view in this but boys feel free to reply, about a year ago I met this girl, who lives in another town, who then started talking everyday since then, then she came to see me for new years, I’ll be honest I fully fumbled and we did not kiss (for the context she came to my apartment for 4 days and we slept in my bed). Then we continued talking, we went to parties where I’d see her kiss other guys and sometimes girls in other parties, which I’ll be honest broke my heart, because we were still talking a lot. But to be clear I know I have no reason to be mad for her kissing, because she’s not my girlfriend and is allowed to do what ever she wants. Later she continued kissing others at parties, and we continued talking from long distance. And then once she came to visit me in my town and another point of context is that every time we were spotted together people assumed that we’re dating, and that day she insisted that it was weird if we dated, and then later I cracked and confessed my feelings and she told me that she saw me just as a friend. And then I expected that we would stop talking but she would call me out of the blue from time to time. And I once went to visit her town and she made me visit her grand parents which I found weird but I stopped thinking. And the she went on a semester in Korea and there I expected that we would stop talking but she would call at 4 AM where I am and always at random times but often. Then she came back from Korea, and wanted me to come with her to the parties but I coin bare watch her kissing other people so I made up an excuse to not go. Now I’m in Thailand, on going an internship and she followed me here, and I really don’t know what to think anymore. And going to Norway for a semester soon and she wants to come visit me. I know I’m probably overthinking it, but I am lost and very heartbroken, I know deep down I truly love this girl more than anything, I don’t want to force anything, but my feeling is that we’re meant to be but we’re not happening which is frustrating. Sorry for the rant, I would truly appreciate advice. I did try moving on, I had this girl who we hooked up and I was thinking of this girl who broke me which is when I knew that something was wrong. And I don’t want to stop talking to her.