Husband cheated (M/M)
long post!
trigger warning for domestic violence.
my partner and I have been together 9 years. I (34 year old male) he (42 year old male) have been married for 7 years. I am a performing artist and he a music teacher.
we had a good relationship, not without difficulties but we did work well together. then about 2 years we encountered some bad trauma, a close friend of ours was killed by his husband out of anger.
this fundamentally changed us as people and the grief and trauma was a lot, he is emotionally distant and I am emotional, however we met a new friend and he we all had a good friendship. my husband started to get the feeling the other guy and I liked each other, and I was in denial but it was true. this friendship began to really upset him, I can agree that I didn’t behave the best and ignored his feelings, this guy however was emotionally validating me in a relationship that had felt a bit strained. I never let anything physical happen but I was becoming stressed by the situation.
while I was away for work abroad, my partner went to one of my very good friend‘s birthday parties. at this party were a few of my other colleagues and people I often work with and friends. He ended up bringing home another performing artist and slept with him in my bed.
he did tell me the next day but I was livid. Of course I understand where it was coming from but I don’t know how to heal from this. It’s been 9 months, but I have to work with this other douche- who I never liked and my partner knew this. He says it was coincidental that this guy was just there and keen, but it feels so violent and like I’m constantly triggered. I know I didn’t act well beforehand, I’m not blameless, but I don’t know what this path to healing looks like.
have you gotten through infidelity? This wound hits me on so many levels, my line of work is so important and how I identify, and My professional social and home life is all impacted by this one betrayal.