TIFU by laughing during freaky time
I (20M) got on a call with this girl (20F) I know and it kinda escalated. We went from talking about how our days went to gooning, and it was weird because she didn't wanna go on FaceTime so we just did it on an audio call. I was sitting there spanking my monkey, and she was flicking the bean. I couldn't take it seriously at all. I felt like a chud doing that but I played along for her I can't lie.
She wanted me to say some freaky stuff, and I couldn't really think of anything, I was kinda worried I'd say something too freaky and I wouldn't take it seriously. I knew if I said something that'd make me laugh, I'm screwed. So I just made some noises here and there. A little bit of the ahh, and a little bit of the oh yeah. I tried adding in a "you're so hot" but I'm pretty sure I said it in a nerd voice, but she didn't seem upset by it so no harm no foul.
She was going crazy though saying stuff like "ooh deeper ahh", and I was into it, until she moaned "just the tip". I don't know why, but that made me laugh. I think it's because it reminded me of some inside joke me and my friends had years ago but I might be misremembering. And I don't know if you guys know this but I have a very loud stupid punchable laugh, like it's one of those laughs that sounds so weird it makes other people laugh at me. I've been flamed for it my whole life, I know it's a dumb laugh that makes the cooch go dry, but I haven't seen my laugh dry it out in real time until now. I bet you can guess that she snapped out of it instantly. I felt bad because I wanted to make her happy, but I fumbled. She left the call, and left me on sent when I tried saying sorry. I really hope she didn't think I was laughing at her when she was in a very vulnerable and personal position, but she probably did take it that way if I had to guess.
Now after maybe like an hour of reflecting I realized just the tip means my dingding's so big that the full thing hurts. I really thought it meant "just please yourself and get it over with". I don't know how and why that never clicked, but it does now. I really thought that when women say that they're not really into you and they just want you to cream quick and leave without them feeling much. I think I'm stupid.
I'm wondering if I can salvage this relationship because I do really like her, I just messed up. I made her upset, probably made her insecure, and I probably fumbled her too. We had good chemistry until we tried doing some light freaky stuff, so imagine how much worse it'd be in person. She tells me to put it in her butt and I laugh because "haha she said butt". My life's a cartoon and I'm PeeWee Herman himself. That's ball knowledge.
TLDR; Me and a girl I liked got on a freaky call, and I laughed really hard when she was flicking the bean and moaning "oh just the tip" because I thought it meant cream and leave at the time, and now she probably ghosted me, but I still want to know if it's possible to salvage the relationship.