r/tifu

Rex was with me for thirteen years. I got him when I was sixteen, a really goofy golden retriever. In that first month alone, he managed to chew up two remote controls, a passport, and my favorite hoodie. You’d think I’d have been annoyed, but I was totally gone on him.
He was just always there. Went through a bad breakup? Rex was right there. Failed an exam? Rex was there. Couldn’t sleep at 2 AM, stuck in a spiral of anxiety? Rex would already be on the bed, nudging against me like he totally got it.
Things started to change in the last couple of years, though. His arthritis in his back legs got so bad he couldn’t do stairs anymore, and mostly he just slept through the day. The vet kept saying he was okay, just getting old. And I kept telling myself we had plenty of time left.
There was this hiking trail we used to go on when he was younger. He loved it so much. He’d be pulling on the leash the whole way there, come back absolutely covered in mud, and then crash for about twelve hours. I kept thinking, "We just need to go one more time." Maybe when the weather got better. Or when work wasn’t so crazy. Or when I finally had a completely free day.
I never did take him back to that trail.
He passed away on a Tuesday morning in March. It was peaceful, at home, with me right there. But that last real walk we had? It was just ten minutes around the block because I told myself I was too busy.

TL;DR kept putting off taking my dog on one last hike at his favorite trail because I was always "too busy." He passed before I ever did it. 13 years and my biggest regret is a walk we never took

To start, I used to struggle with porn addiction and would consume it regularly in unhealthy amounts. It's something that I'm ashamed of, but willing to admit so I can have some accountability for my actions. Admittedly, I would watch porn because I was bored and lonely and needed that little hit of dopamine to feel momentarily better, and as someone who struggles with depression that little hit was all I could get sometimes.

Well 7 months ago I met my girlfriend, and immediately stopped watching porn because I feel like it's morally wrong to do while in a relationship, and it's been great for me to no longer rely on content like that for dopamine or sexual gratification, and to be able to overcome the issues I've dealt with, with her help. Which is why I believe this has hurt her especially bad. I was overcome with guilt and told her what I had done - that I had betrayed her trust and watched porn again, and that I couldn't keep going on harboring this secret from her because she doesn't deserve to be lied to or to have secrets kept from.

Naturally she was devastated, I could tell by the way that she completely shut down to protect herself. And me, doing the most douchebag thing possible doubled down with "but I was thinking about you", which I feel only made things 10x worse. While this statement is really true, I feel like in the moment where she was shut down and for me to continue to say stupid things like this only served to deepen the wound. I fucked up big time. This girl is the sweetest, most kind and amazing girl I've ever met. She doesn't deserve to have her heart hurt like this, especially by someone who just wants to protect her and keep her safe.

I sent her a message this morning to apologize and to take accountability for my actions, and to let her know that when she's ready to talk, if ever, I'm here. But I'm afraid that what I've done is irreparable, and deservedly so. I really just came here to vent about something I feel so much shame about. Do I even deserve a second chance?

TL;DR

I had a porn addiction, I started a relationship and quit porn, I watched it again and told my GF because of the guilt and shame and it broke her heart. I'm ashamed of myself.

So background my gf often over emphasize her attraction for other men infront of me typically when it comes to regards of TV shows or movies. It something that bothers me and she is vaguely aware that it is something that bothers me. So today me and her were watching game of thrones and Jon snow appeared. She than went on TikTok to search up edits of him. When she was watching the edit she made like moan noise or what ever those comical noises people make for someone they find attractive. When she did this she gave me a look of like a kid being caught doing something they didn’t so I just flat at told her “when you lust over other men infront of me it disgusts me” now I definitely recognize I definitely could have voiced this concern better but it just came out. I apologize for damage control but yea that’s my TIFU

TL:DR: I told my gf it disgust me when she finds over other men in-front of me

Dated a guy for 2 years in my very early twenties who had a sister that was getting married. Not a bonafide wedding ceremony, just a small segment of a normal church sermon where the pastor wed them. My race is pertinent and necessary to state for the context of the story, I’m white. My then-boyfriend and his sister/family was black. This day was in February 2014. I was raised atheist, never attended church before this. We go in and take a seat, nobody really paid me any mind and I’m antisocial so I appreciated it. The pastor started his sermon, and that’s when I realized I was in the wrong place at the very worst possible time. I didn’t notice the name of the church on the way inside, but I see the name painted over the pulpit, it was designated as a black church. I look around and realize I’m the only white person in this packed church. This sermon is about black history month, AKA February, and how the white man is the devil and are all evil oppressors. Several churchgoers turn to look at me periodically, and I feel white hot embarrassment. I wanted to literally melt into a puddle underneath the pew I was sitting on and just die. Needless to say, my boyfriend and I left right after the service. To give him credit, he wasn’t religious and had never been to this church before either so he didn’t know what he was bringing me to. I have never felt more disliked than I did that day sitting in that church during that sermon.

TL;DR black history month, white person, service was about how white people are evil and disgusting.

I was scheduled to travel, about a two-hour flight, to visit a customer for a workshop with my supervisor. Last night, while checking in for my flight, I realized that my passport had expired. It was entirely my mistake, and it meant I couldn't travel.

As soon as I discovered it, I messaged my supervisor to let them know. After that, I barely slept. I spent the whole night worrying about the situation and feeling increasingly anxious.

By this morning, I still hadn't heard back from my supervisor. We were due to meet the customer in about 30 minutes, and I was panicking because I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Thinking it was the right thing to do, I messaged the customer, took responsibility, and explained that I couldn't attend because my passport had expired.

Shortly afterwards, my manager called me and was very unhappy about the situation said not to tell the customer the real reason i was not present. I had said on the call they i had already messaged them and had deleted the message, but that seems to have been misunderstood because my manager and supervisor then gave the customer a different explanation for why I wasn't there.

Now I'm in trouble with both my supervisor and my manager, and I have no idea what the customer thinks. To make matters worse, this is already a customer I've sometimes struggled to build a strong working relationship with. It's never been personal, we just haven't always seen eye to eye. This whole situation has left me feeling incredibly anxious and worried about the consequences.

TL;DR: I missed an important work trip because I didn't realize my passport had expired. I told the customer the truth before speaking with my manager, who wanted a different explanation given. Now I'm dealing with the fallout from both management and the client, and my anxiety is through the roof.

I (M 20) work in hospitality as a dishwasher and I see a co-worker (F 25) in the doorway of the room as I'm coming back from returning plates to the kitchen. We have a good working relationship, jokes and poking fun at each other.

She's there with a spool of duct-tape trying to find the end of it. To note: I had seen this earlier in the staff room and thought if anyone brought it out I would make a joke like: "Oh good, now we have a way of shutting *such and such* up". Harmless and chuckle-worthy but that's not what I did.

As I approached her, completely wordless, I put my arms out in front of me with my wrists together as if showing her what to do with the tape. The action was quick and I just carried on walking towards the dishes after putting my arms down. It didn't even cross my mind the implications of the action. I went back to drying dishes as she gasped with her mouth agape and glared at me. It took a moment for it to click and when it did, my face burned.

"Oh no." I said, "I didn't mean-- I don't actually know what I meant."

She was awkward about it at first as we both laughed at the absurdity of it and I apologised, trying to salvage the situation. Spoiler: I didn't salvage it. Before long, every server knew what I had done and joined in on the laughter, the story even made it to the chefs who will NEVER let me forget it.

After we all calmed down, I made a more genuine apology to her and said that I acted on impulse and apologise if it made her uncomfortable and I just wanted to do something to make her laugh. She smiled and said: "You have a weird way of going about it."

For the rest of the shift anytime she gave me any dishes she called me a 'good boy' and teased me about being a freak, as well as playfully acting awkward by covering her eyes or averting her gaze whenever we passed each other.

TL;DR: My virgin ass asked for a co-worker to tie me up, everyone knows and they'll never let me live it down.

Obligatory “not actually today”. This was back when I was working at a very busy convenience store chain at the front counter. I was very friendly with most of our regulars and got consistently good reviews, but unbeknownst to most people, I’m autistic/ADHD and just very good at masking when in Customer Service mode. But sometimes the mask slips and it slips BAD. Like painful for everyone involved.

A regular customer has his service dog with him all the time. This is a legit service animal, not an emotional support dog - he’s extremely well behaved and trained to support this customer for seizures if I remember correctly. Now, if you’re like me, you know that you are not supposed to touch a service animal without asking. Frankly, I don’t think you should ever touch ANY pet without asking, because you don’t know how the animal will react. But if you’re like me, you also know people are idiots and assholes and don’t care about things like that.

On this particular day, I ring up Dog Owner and while I’m bagging his things, Dog Petter reaches down and pets the dog. Not a single word to the owner, no indication he’s going to do that, nothing. Dog Owner doesn’t react and neither does the dog, he’s clearly used to people being asshats. So am I, but on this particular day, I decided to speak up.

While ringing up Dog Petter, I offhandedly remark with a smile, “Oh, did you know you shouldn’t pet service animals without asking? It’s rude and the dog is working.”

I expect Dog Petter to maybe ignore me, maybe apologize if I’m lucky and say he didn’t know. Instead, he doubles down and says, “If the owner didn’t say anything, then it’s fine. Dogs want to be pet.”

I quickly replied, “But you shouldn’t pet an animal that doesn’t belong to you without asking, even if it isn’t a service animal.”

Dog Petter argues back, “If they didn’t want someone to pet their dog, they shouldn’t have it in public. And why don’t you mind your own goddamn business?”

To be honest, I should not have said anything. I should have let it go, because it was not technically my business, but I have a very strong sense of right and wrong and I was upset that this person was committing what I saw as an injustice against a disabled person’s service dog.

However, I also feel my emotions very strongly, as in a physical reaction, and I’ve had a history of hurting myself when those emotions are too strong. Things like shame, guilt, and embarrassment feel like uncontrollable panic attacks. (I have, since this incident, gotten better about it and have healthier outlets) This is necessary information to explain what happens next.

I paused what I was doing, said “I’m very sorry,” and promptly slammed my own head down into the countertop in front of me.

It was very loud. I ended up on the floor and there was a lot of commotion, and then I was further embarrassed because I genuinely hadn’t meant to do that - there was no conscious thought between the apology and the impact. Then I had to explain to my boss who was screaming at the customer that no one else did that to me, I had done it myself, and then I had to explain the same thing to the paramedics, and then I got carted off to the ER because I admitted to harming myself. Typical Tuesday at that point in my life. Like I said, I’ve gotten better and do not do things like this anymore. (I’ve switched to running my hands under cold water or putting ice in my mouth when I feel a panic coming on.)

Apparently the Dog Petter went back and apologized to my manager, but stopped coming to our location after that. I’m still embarrassed by the entire thing to this day, some four years later. But I hope that guy remembers not to pet service animals without asking. (Side note: I’ve petted lots of dogs, service or otherwise. But you have to ask politely first!)

TL;DR: Guy pets service dog, I tell Guy not to pet service dog, Guy snaps at me and I slam my head into a counter out of embarrassment.

Edit: after careful reflection and comments below, it is pretty obvious to me now that this was an autistic meltdown. I’ve never connected the dots on that behavior. Stay safe, NDs.

I work in a hotel, night audit. It's the 4th of July and it's been...aggravating to day the least. That's an excuse. I know I fucked up HARD. Like, this is one of those fuck ups where, I know it's a fuck up, I fucked up, there's no way to fix the fuck up, and I'm going to be embarrassed about this for years to come.

The guest was challenging, but dealing with people treating you like trash is part of the job. I'm "just a fucking desk clerk" and while it gets old being looked down upon, it's a fairly cake job and I can smoke as much as I want.

But she found "a peice of grass or hay" in the first room.

She found "a hair" in the second room

She found "biological matter" (no, I don't know what she found and I'm not going up there to check either) in the 3rd room.

I "suggested" that perhaps they might be happier somewhere else and canceled their room. They left. I called her a picky fucking bitch in the "guest comments" and went on with my work.

They came back. He wanted "whatever it was she signed" (the registration card). I printed out a new copy as I can't photocopy and he didn't want to take a picture of the original on his phone. I did NOT KNOW that guest comments were printed on the registration card. I honestly thought those were private to the hotel staff.

Yeah "PICKY FUCKING BITCH" right there under comments.

I tried to play it off as the housekeeping had checked the system from home and saw 3 new dirty rooms and a departed guest, but it wasn't flying well. They eventually actually left.

TL;DR pay attention before printing receipts to save yourself from soul crushing levels of embarrassment and shame

I was working and I was getting sweaty and my testies were sticking to my thighs and so I went to the fridge to adjust them thinking no one was coming and to my horror a female coworker came in as I was mid adjustment so my hands were all in my privates and my pants were unbuttoned since they were a bit tight and well I think they saw that and now I’m super embarrassed and worried she’ll report me or something. I don’t even know the girl as we work seperate parts of the store so she probably thinks I’m some weirdo that get off at work and the worst part is that she’s in a relationship with my managers niece so she might tell the niece who in turn might tell my manager and I’m worried it might escalate.

TL;DR
I was mid ball adjustment and might have been caught.

I’m actually so embarrassed I can’t even.
Today me (20f) and my friend Hannah(20f) were hanging out and decided we wanted to play this 2 player phone game. However, the app had been taken off the App Store. Hannah then says, that if you go down your app download history, you would be able to find it from there and download it. So she takes my phone and scrolls down 2-3 years back looking for when I last downloaded it. I didn’t think much of it or watch what she was doing on my phone because I didn’t think I had anything to hide. She then suddenly goes “I hope you don’t mind me looking through your whole history.” I was like “pft no.” Anyways she’s finds it, downloads it and that’s that. However later this evening, I started thinking about what Hannah said, and just to make sure there were no stupid stuff I downloaded, I looked at my app history, and oh my god… 3 vibrator apps downloaded back to back. The way I dashed my phone across the room it’s not even funny. I want to crawl in a hole and die. What makes it worse is I know for a fact she saw it cause it was only like 2 scrolls above the app we downloaded. Fuck me guys I want to end it all. Never in my life have i been this embarrassed. I don’t even know if I can face her again. And what’s pissing me off the most is that all them bullshit apps didn’t even work hence why I tried 3 different ones. Never thought it would come back to bite me in the ass like this. That’s what you get for being dumb and horny.
Guys idek what to do now. This shame is gonna eat me alive.

TL;DR: Pretty sure my friend saw the vibrator apps I once downloaded on my phone cause she was going through my app history

Obligatory ~this was not today, this was about 5ish years ago~

Let me preface this with a little about my sense of humor. I like to make sarcastic jokes. Like, I like to make a joke that is OBVIOUSLY not true, NO WAY, totally illogical, furthest thing from the truth. For example, I know my coworker just worked her ass off and got a bunch of overtime covering open shifts and she gets pulled into a meeting. Before the meeting I go "Damn, I can't believe they're going to fire you!" while we both fully know it's a meeting thanking her for her outstanding work. That type of sarcasm. I've made jokes like this since I was a kid.

Anyway.

A couple years after high school when I was living with my now-husband, I would go to my parents house every weekend to hang out with my mom. I'd usually come over around like 10am and hang out the whole day.

On this particular weekend, I had texted my mom to see what time she wanted me to head over. She told me to ask my dad. Kinda weird, I was going to spend time with her specifically, why did my dads schedule matter?

So I text him and he tells me that they're busy and my boyfriend and I should just come over for dinner. Why didn't my mom just say that? I brush it off. It was odd but whatever.

We come over in the evening and my dad immediately gathers us in the kitchen. So me, my little brother, my boyfriend and my parents all sit at the kitchen counter. My dad says "So. We wanted to talk to you about some things."

I, with my perfect comedic timing, say "What, are you guys getting a divorce? 🤪", rolling my eyes and chuckling, knowing that was OBVIOUSLY not happening.

My dad pauses, looks back at me, and goes "Yeah."

TL;DR: I made a sarcastic divorce joke to my parents at the exact moment they blindsided me and my brother by telling us they were getting a divorce.

TIFU I messed up, and it's a big regret. I never really told my best friend how much he impacted my life, and now I never will.
His name was Marcus. We met in seventh grade when he accidentally threw an eraser at my head and then spent the rest of the day apologizing. That's pretty much how our eleven-year friendship began.
Looking back, I was on a bad path then. I was hanging out with the wrong crowd, skipping school, and getting into trouble. The teachers had pretty much written me off, and my parents were exhausted. Then Marcus showed up, and surprisingly, he stayed. He'd drag me to family dinners, court for basketball, or we'd just hang out and watch movies. He never made me feel like I was a project he had to fix; he just treated me like the person I was meant to become.
I actually graduated high school because of him. My whole life changed direction, and it was all thanks to him.
He moved across the country for a job about three years ago. Our calls started to get less frequent. I kept telling myself, "I'll tell him properly someday. Maybe over a beer, when I figure out exactly what to say."
He passed away six months ago. A heart condition that no one knew about. He was only 26.
I spoke at his funeral, but even then, I couldn't bring myself to say the real truth out loud.
So, I guess the point here is, don't wait for the perfect moment. Because sometimes, there just isn't one.
TL;DR my best friend pulled me off a bad path just by refusing to give up on me. He died at 26 never knowing what he actually did for my life

I decided to do my first solo trip this year. Since I am a music teacher at a public school, I have the summers off and have the ability to travel at any time. With my wedding coming up in August, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to have some alone time before the big day. My goal was to spend as little money as possible, but still have a nice relaxing time. When looking at flights on SkyScanner I saw a flight pop-up for Atlantic City for only $55 round trip. I immediately booked the tickets and started planning things to do while in Atlantic City. I had been to Atlantic City about 10 years prior and had a great time so I figured it would be fun to go back and spend time by the beach and the boardwalk. I was able to book my hotel and flights for the 3 day trip for just under $200. I used credit card points to cover the purchases. Everything was going so well. On my flight from Cleveland, I talked to the lady next to me for the entirety of the 2 and 1/2 hour flight. I told her about my plans on the boardwalk and how I was looking forward to the beach. When we landed, I opened up the Uber app to get a ride to my hotel. I checked before leaving and it was just under a 30-minute drive. When I put in my hotel's address I received an error message as well as options for a train. I knew something had to be wrong, so I went to Google maps. Simultaneously as I saw the almost 13 hour drive time pop up on my screen, I heard the pilot come on the intercom and say "Welcome to ATLANTA GEORGIA"..... My whole world froze, as a tingle ran down the length of my spine. ATL did not stand for Atlantic City but in fact Atlanta Georgia. I KNEW THIS! I HAVE BEEN TO ATL BEFORE. As a seasoned traveler who has visited all 50 states and been out of the country multiple times you would think I would understand the difference between the two. But no, this idiot got excited about cheap tickets and the memories of Atlantic City and booked before bothering to double check or actually read. How did I make it through all of my planning without realizing? I really couldn't tell you. My best answer is that I was traveling alone, and would have gone anywhere so I didn't plan as thoroughly as I would have if I was going with friends or my fiancee. While the trip ended up costing more than I had hoped, I enjoyed my stay in Atlanta, and overall still had a great trip. My friends proceed to remind me how stupid I am, and we all get a good laugh out of my misfortune. What the sweet lady next to me on the plane thought I was doing? Who knows? She probably thought I was crazy and went along with it.... to her credit maybe I am.

TL;DR: I mistook the airport code ATL for Atlantic City NJ, instead of Atlanta GA. I didn't realize until my plane landed.

Obligatory not today. A couple of weeks ago I was working at a local festival with the police department as a volunteer. It's the same uniform, same equipment, identical to the local police except for a line on my shoulder patch and on my badge.

We were walking around chatting with vendors and giving kids stickers with the police department's badge on it that said "junior police officer". Kids love them and it's great for them to have those positive experiences with police.

One of the vendors had a bunch of chainsaw carvings, some of which were of Morels, which are a mushroom that grows in the spring and people like to hunt for. That got us on the topic of mushroom hunters, some that had been poisoned, how dangerous it can be, etc. The point here is we were talking about mushrooms, which is where the fuck up came in.

As we were walking, there was a kid and a parent coming in the opposite direction, as I reached for a sticker I asked the kid, "hey dude, you want some mushrooms"

I immediately realized what I said and started apologizing, fortunately the father had a sense of humor and shot off, "wrong festival, region non-specific drug centric festival is that way".

I apologized again and explained we were talking about mushrooms, we both had a laugh and parted ways. I'm still appalled by what I said, especially in that uniform.

Tl;dr: working for the local police department in uniform at a festival, was talking about mushrooms that were carved with a chainsaw, and when I tried to offer a kid a sticker I accidentally offered the kid mushrooms

*Some details were changed to keep my location vague*

In my defense, this wasn’t my first time on crutches.

I had already gone through this whole ordeal once before on the other side. Total non weight bearing for 3 months, partial non weight bearing for 3 months. I thought I was an expert.

I remember waking up from surgery and PT coming by to teach me to do stairs. I tried to decline. I remembered from last time (I even took notes!) but no, they had me do it again “just in case.”

I remember all the discharge instructions from the surgeon and the nurses encouraging me to rest and to slow down.

I remember distinctly thinking in my head “I know, I know, I know” and biting my tongue to keep from rushing them because I really just wanted to go home.

Did I listen?

I was on the phone and needed to go downstairs. I remember telling this to my friend. He asked if I needed to go? “No, it’s fine. I can do both.” Idiot.

I held my phone up to my ear with my shoulder and used my hands for the crutches.

Made it about halfway before I missed a step.

I wasn’t paying attention. I thought the crutch was on the stair. It was actually on the edge. It slipped (carpeted stairs).

I actually realized what was happening and tried to catch myself before falling down the stairs.

By placing my leg down to stabilize.

The leg I just had surgery on a few days before.

I saw stars.
I thought I was going to puke.
I don’t know how I didn’t pass out.

Forcefully putting all of my weight on my bad leg a few days after surgery was not a part of the recovery plan.

Tl;dr ignored medical professionals telling me to be careful; wasn’t careful; worst pain imaginable.

This happened yesterday and I am still sitting in bed staring at the wall. My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. Her father is one of those traditional, hyper-disciplined guys who wakes up at four in the morning, runs marathons, and built his own business from scratch. I, on the other hand, have been stuck in a massive rut for the last six months.

Ever since I started working from home, my schedule has completely collapsed. I stay up until four in the morning playing video games, sleep through my alarms, eat takeout for almost every meal, and can barely motivate myself to get dressed before noon. The apartment reflects it, too. There are empty energy drink cans and greasy boxes on pretty much every surface.

Yesterday, my girlfriend went out to visit her mom, and I had my usual weekend plan of doing absolutely nothing. Around two in the afternoon, I was passed out on the couch. I was wearing this old, completely stretched-out pair of boxers, and I didn't even realize that my junk was basically half hanging out of them.

Suddenly, the front door opened. It wasn't my girlfriend. It was her dad. Apparently, she had asked him to drop off some heavy boxes of her old winter clothes that were taking up space in his garage, and she forgot to tell me he was coming by.

He walked into the living room holding a massive plastic crate, and just stopped dead. The apartment smelled like stale food. I scrambled awake, completely disoriented, tripped over a pizza box on the floor, and basically fell into the coffee table trying to stand up, all while my left nut was just fully out and swinging in the breeze right in front of him.

He didn't say a word. He just stood there, looked at the trash, looked down at me, and slowly put the crate down. He just nodded tightly, turned around, and walked out of the apartment.

My girlfriend called me an hour later crying. She said her dad called her right after he left and told her that I have zero drive, no discipline, and that she is wasting her time with someone who can't even clean up after himself or "keep his clothes on". She didn't break up with me, but the tone of her voice was completely different. The sheer embarrassment is eating me alive, and I honestly don't even know how to look either of them in the eye again.

TL;DR: My girlfriend’s ultra corporate dad walked into our apartment unannounced and caught me asleep on the couch with my junk fully hanging out next to a pile of trash. He thinks I'm the biggest loser alive and my relationship is officially in the trenches.

‎I just want to share an absolutely unforgettable, hardcore commuting experience from back when I was working in Manila. It was a spiritual battle of cosmic proportions. ‎ ‎It started at work. My stomach hurt so bad that I literally had to temporarily stop breathing just to endure the hellish, stinging sensation. Realizing I couldn't function, I tapped out to head home. The plan: take a jeepney to another jeepney station, then head to the bus terminal. ‎ ‎ ‎I realized I ran out of change and only had a ₱1000 bill. I had to wander around the market completely lightheaded, dizzy, and fighting a lethal combo of acid reflux and aggressive diarrhea, begging vendors to break the bill. Because it was early/slow, everyone turned me down. I was so frustrated and desperate. Luckily, a legendary jeepney conductor saw my soul leaving my body and just gave me ₱20—enough for one trip. To that man: you are a literal guardian angel. ‎ ‎I finally made it to the bus terminal and immediately sprinted to the restroom to dispose of the unwanted problem. I was trapped in that stall for 20 minutes, fighting for my life and puking my guts out. By the time I staggered out, I was shivering violently and the dizziness was intensifying. I bought a tetra pack of sterilized milk and some biscuits, but I didn't dare touch the milk. Taking a sip before a 3-to-4-hour rush-hour bus ride felt like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. ‎ ‎The entire bus ride was a level of hell that words cannot fully describe. It was a holy trinity of suffering: Dizziness + Stomach Pain + Butt-Clenching 3000. I was multitasking so hard to keep my composure that I completely lost track of time. I just remember praying to every known god and deity to let me get off that bus without causing a national disaster. ‎Against all odds, I survived the bus. But the universe wasn't done with me. ‎ ‎Next up was a 30-minute local tricycle ride. Take everything I just said about the bus experience, but add a map modifier: terrible, broken roads, and a motorcycle suspension that felt like riding a jackhammer. Every single bump felt like a threat to my dignity. ‎ ‎After getting off the tricycle, I still had a 1km walk to my house. I walked at terminal velocity, pouring 100% of my body's remaining electrical grid and focus straight into my glutes. Funny enough, my headache and dizziness completely vanished during the walk. My brain’s survival instinct basically said, "We will deal with the neurological damage later, right now there is a catastrophic breach in the hull." ‎ ‎I stumbled into my house looking like a drunk man. I didn't even bother removing my dirty shoes or throwing down my bag; I just bolted for the bathroom and almost ripped my jeans off. I wasn't even fully seated when the fuse ran out and the thrusters ignited without delay. Complete, chaotic liftoff. ‎ ‎The second my business was taken care of, the adrenaline wore off. The headache, dizziness, and stomach pain came crashing back all at once. I spent the next hour shivering on the floor, completely soaked in cold sweat.‎I survived, but I left a piece of my soul on the highway that day.

TL;DR: Tried to commute home from Manila while fighting a brutal case of stomach flu and diarrhea. Endured a multi-hour battle of pure willpower across jeepneys, a rush-hour bus, and a bumpy tricycle ride, barely making it to my toilet before total engine failure.

For some details. I put my toddler in an early preschool prep class. It's one or two times a week and kids get left with teachers for about an hour. Classes are small 5-7 kids with two teachers.

This small classroom setting makes it so that parents typically get rather close as they tend to hang out while waiting for their children. I do not do this. I take that hour and do my weekly grocery shopping. My wife sometimes does stay but she only occasionally does.

Now he's been in this for about a year now. And the class occasionally sets up holiday get-togethers. With other classes bigger groups and parents bring food kinda like a big potluck.

For safety reasons everyone has to disclose what is in the food. You never know what someone might be allergic to. And about a year ago in the fort gathering my wife said I made amazing cookies and offered for me to bake for the event. That was fine with me I made the cookies and everyone loved them. Especially a certain group of moms and kids. The ingredients were disclosed. Simple recipe sugar, butter, all purpose flour, vanilla extract, chocolate chips. That's all.

Now this went on for a year in different events. That same group loved my cookies even at times asking if they could take some home. I would always say yes if there were still some at the end. Not like I expected to have any to take home.

Now this is where the problems came in. One day one of the husbands of that mom group asked me for the secret ingredient. I didn't have one. But I did have a set of instructions on how to keep them soft. Timing and all that. He followed that and got a close softness. But not the taste.

This apparently had been a bit of a point of contention in that group because of one reason or another. Finally the group came and asked me about it. I told them the process and ingredients I used as well as amounts. They blew up. They were apparently a well known crunchy mom group in the school. I use store bought everything and was accused of trying to poison them and their kids by not disclosing all the chemicals inside the ingredients. When they read a simple ingredient they assumed it was some home grown naturally processed sugar I somehow made? God's no I was not going through all that trouble.

I thought it was really funny and burst out into laughter, which I acknowledge was not appropriate. But it seemed really funny to me because they absolutely loved these cookies. And it was because they hadn't had anything with sugar in so long that their bodies were craving it.

TLDR I've been feeding a crunchy mom group regular cookies for a year now and they just found out that they were not in fact some all natural home grown ingredient cookies. And are absolutely livid.

21M and went on a date with a 23F. We knew each other through a mutual friend but had never actually met in person.

I've dated quite a few people before, but talking to her just felt... easy. She seemed like someone who likes to take things slowly, so we spent about a month just texting before deciding to meet for lunch.

I brought her flowers, which is something I do on every first date. She was incredibly sweet and told me, "This is actually my first date. I've never been on one before." Lunch went really well. She kept saying she was enjoying my company, which made me feel great.

Afterwards, we planned to visit a museum, but it was closed. Since we're both huge movie lovers, I suggested watching Obsession because I really wanted to see it.

She looked at me and asked, "Do you really want to go?" I said, "Of course! It's supposed to be a great movie." So we went to buy tickets.

She asked me which seats we should buy?

Without thinking, I confidently said, "Top row, third row from the back, middle seats."

My date gave me the weirdest look and asked, "Are you sure? You don't want the corner seats?"

I was completely confused and replied, "No! The middle seats are the best. That's how you're supposed to enjoy a movie!"

For context, I genuinely don't make out in movie theatres. I just wanted the best view of the screen. 😭

The cashier looked at both of us and asked, "Sir... are you sure?"

I doubled down.

"Yes."😭

My date made the funniest face and started laughing. At that point, I still had absolutely no idea what was happening 😭😭. We watched the movie, loved it, and spent the whole ride back talking.

When I dropped her home, she said, "This was such a beautiful date. It was a great first date, and you've set the bar really high." Then, just before leaving, she looked at me and said, "You're like Nobita." (Its a doremon character, who's slow asf)😭😭

I laughed and told her, "Funny enough, Nobita was actually my childhood nickname." She smiled and said, "Yeah... that makes sense." 😭😭😭😭😭

I drove home thinking I'd absolutely nailed the date. It wasn't until much later that I realised what probably happened.

She literally gave me multiple chances to pick the corner seats 😭.

Peak Nobita behaviour. 😭

Then she ghosted me the very next day.

TL;DR of all the ways to mess up a date, being too obsessed with the optimal seats has to be the most ridiculous one. 😭

okay so backstory. I've always been the guy in the group who over thinks every text message before sending it. genuinely thought I was born without whatever gene makes people "good talkers". so when I had to start selling my own stuff (long story, freelance work) I basically decided before even trying that I was gonna suck at it.

for like 2 years I avoided any direct sales conversation like it was a physical threat. I'd build the actual thing, spend weeks on it, get it to a good place, and then just... never actually pitch it to anyone properly. I'd send like a weak "hey if ur interested lmk" message and then ghost my own conversation out of anxiety if they didn't reply in a day. genuinely sabotaged good opportunities bc I convinced myself I needed to be some smooth charismatic talker first, like a switch that either you have or you dont.

my roommate at the time (extremely extroverted, could sell ice to a penguin) kept telling me "bro its not about talking good" and I kept nodding along not actually believing him bc in my head every closer I'd seen online was loud, confident, fast talking. I am none of those things. I mumble. I say "um" a lot.

so fast forward, I finally got desperate enough (bills lol) that I had to actually talk to a potential client directly, live call, no hiding behind text. I was so nervous I actually wrote a script. did NOT plan on the guy going off script immediately and asking me a question I didn't prep for.

here's the twist — the second I abandoned my "sound smart and confident" script and just asked HIM what his actual problem was and shut up and listened, the whole call changed. I wasn't performing anymore, I was just literally repeating his own pain back to him in slightly clearer words. he actually said "yeah exactly, you get it" TWICE.

closed the deal in that same call. the one I had zero confidence going into.

went back and reread stuff on persuasion after that (was convinced it was a fluke) and realized the actual mechanics have almost nothing to do with charisma: loss aversion, specificity of pain, letting the other person say the conclusion instead of you saying it, silence being a tool instead of something to fill nervously. the "smooth talker" thing is maybe 10% of what's happening in a good sales conversation, if that.

kept testing it after that on smaller stuff (even like negotiating a bill, asking for a discount) and it kept working the same way regardless of how confident I sounded. sometimes I still mumbled through it and it still worked, which honestly broke my brain a little.

the actual TIFU part: I spent 2 years being scared of a skill I was never actually bad at, because I confused it with a completely different skill (public speaking confidence) that I genuinely don't have and still don't have. lost 2 years and probably several thousand dollars of opportunities being scared of the wrong thing.

TL;DR: thought selling = talking smooth and confident. avoided it for 2 years because I'm introverted and bad at small talk. turns out its just applied psychology and listening, had nothing to do with the thing I was scared of. found out by accident on a call I wasn't even prepared for.