u/Former_Flounder_4235

I feel so embarrassed about this. I'm a South Asian woman living in the Pacific Islands. I moved here for work and I've been experiencing sexual harassment and racism in very new ways here. I don't want to generalise my experiences because I've met a lot of nice and friendly people here.

It's nothing too severe. However, I think the frequency and (sometimes) the intensity of these instances has left a few deep cuts. A lot of the more malicious racism I have experienced here has come from European expats living here. A lot of foreigners often build a social network within these small expat circles here. Most of them have been very nice and accepting. However, my experiences with a few hostile people have really affected my self worth and mental well-being. I've been regularly called "exotic", racialised and casually sexualised by a few older men. At a formal dinner, the host (a white man) kept telling me that it would have been nicer if I had worn a sari. He asked me to sit next to him and declared to the whole dining table that, "what greater honour could someone from my country hope for"! He kept telling me that, if I played my cards right, he would let me have a jar of honey. When I tried leaving, he insisted on accompanying me. While waiting for my cab, he kept asking me how it felt to have a white man wait with me.

I've also come to realise that people aren't very fond of Fijian Indians here. And men, often taxi drivers, have yelled at me when I couldn't pay them exorbitant amounts like the Australians or New Zealanders do. A lot of my acquaintances have tried to explain away these instances by saying that those drivers treated me poorly because they mistook me for a Fijian Indian. Men at work have made sexualised comments about my body and sometimes taken pictures and videos of me without my consent. The frequency of these incidents has gone down recently and I'm feeling a bit safer at work. But I can't help but notice the difference in their treatment towards me vs my white female colleagues who get to work on better, more significant projects, while I'm often asked to do menial jobs and busy work.

Anyway, I mentioned some of my concerns to my employers who organised a meeting with me and a few other colleagues to discuss how they could support us better. I felt my hands shaking as soon as I joined this call. My voice trembled throughout and I took breaks to cry. I don't know why that happened because some of these instances are a few months old. I feel so embarrassed. I feel like I messed up my chance to be seen as a professional by my colleagues, yet again. My colleagues texted me after the call, saying that they felt sorry for me and they are willing to talk to me about these issues. Idk, I feel so pathetic. I guess, I should have requested a 1-on-1 call, instead of a group call. I feel so stupid. I'm the kind of person who cries about everything and it seems it's not a trait that's going to get better with age. I feel horrible for not being able to control my emotions.

Tldr: cried in a work meeting while recounting (perhaps not too serious) instances of racial and sexual harassment. Worried I'll be seen as a cry baby by my coworkers.

I feel so embarrassed about this. I'm a South Asian woman living in the Pacific Islands. I moved here for work and I've been experiencing sexual harassment and racism in very new ways here. I don't want to generalise my experiences because I've met a lot of nice and friendly people here.

It's nothing too severe. However, I think the frequency and (sometimes) the intensity of these instances has left a few deep cuts. A lot of the more malicious racism I have experienced here has come from European expats living here. A lot of foreigners often build a social network within these small expat circles here. Most of them have been very nice and accepting. However, my experiences with a few hostile people have really affected my self worth and mental well-being. I've been regularly called "exotic", racialised and casually sexualised by a few older men. At a formal dinner, the host (a white man) kept telling me that it would have been nicer if I had worn a sari. He asked me to sit next to him and declared to the whole dining table that, "what greater honour could someone from my country hope for"! He kept telling me that, if I played my cards right, he would let me have a jar of honey. When I tried leaving, he insisted on accompanying me. While waiting for my cab, he kept asking me how it felt to have a white man wait with me.

I've also come to realise that people aren't very fond of Fijian Indians here. And men, often taxi drivers, have yelled at me when I couldn't pay them exorbitant amounts like the Australians or New Zealanders do. A lot of my acquaintances have tried to explain away these instances by saying that those drivers treated me poorly because they mistook me for a Fijian Indian. Men at work have made sexualised comments about my body and sometimes taken pictures and videos of me without my consent. The frequency of these incidents has gone down recently and I'm feeling a bit safer at work. But I can't help but notice the difference in their treatment towards me vs my white female colleagues who get to work on better, more significant projects, while I'm often asked to do menial jobs and busy work.

Anyway, I mentioned some of my concerns to my employers who organised a meeting with me and a few other colleagues to discuss how they could support us better. I felt my hands shaking as soon as I joined this call. My voice trembled throughout and I took breaks to cry. I don't know why that happened because some of these instances are a few months old. I feel so embarrassed. I feel like I messed up my chance to be seen as a professional by my colleagues, yet again. My colleagues texted me after the call, saying that they felt sorry for me and they are willing to talk to me about these issues. Idk, I feel so pathetic. I guess, I should have requested a 1-on-1 call, instead of a group call. I feel so stupid. I'm the kind of person who cries about everything and it seems it's not a trait that's going to get better with age. I feel horrible for not being able to control my emotions.

Tldr: cried in a work meeting while recounting (perhaps not too serious) instances of racial and sexual harassment. Worried I'll be seen as a cry baby by my coworkers.