AITA for going to my best friend’s daughter’s party even though my girlfriend’s son wasn’t invited?
I (44M) have been best friends with Joe (45M) since we were teenagers. I have lived with my girlfriend (42F) for some years. She has a son from a previous relationship (15M), and I have two kids (M13 and F16) from mine.
Joes daughter (F14) had her confirmation, and invitations went out for the party. Me, my girlfriend, and my two kids were invited, but my girlfriend’s son was not.
At first I thought it was a mistake, so I asked Joe about it and whether I could bring her son too. He said it wasn’t a mistake and they had to limit the number of guests and chose to invite the people she felt she knew best. Since my girlfriend’s son isn’t close to their family (but they have met several times), he didn’t make the list. Invitees were close family and a few of her closest friends.
I do understand that it’s her day, and as a formal confirmation party it can get big and expensive fast. I guess that’s how they think about it.
But my girlfriend was really hurt. It felt like our family was being split up and that it put her in an impossible position because there’s no way she could attend while leaving her son at home wondering why everyone else was invited except him.
I honestly agreed that it was strange. I don’t think my friend made the right choice. But at the same time, Martin is my closest friend, and I was worried that skipping the party entirely would damage our friendship. In the end, my girlfriend stayed home with her son, and I bought a gift and went to the party with my two kids.
My girlfriend didn’t ask me not to attend. But she would have wanted that I didn’t feel like going myself. So without saying directly, she feels like I prioritised my friend over our family.
I understand not everyone can be invited to everything, especially for limited-capacity events. But I also understand why my girlfriend (and myself) feels like one child in our household was singled out. I still plan to talk to Joe and tell him that I think the decision put us in a really difficult position, even if I understand why they made it.
Since I went to the party without my girlfriend and her son, IATA for prioritising my friend over my girlfriend?