Do I 31F, stop talking to me best friend 31F, after she continued to play on the sports team that I was fired from?
Okay, this is the first Reddit post Ive made so please forgive me if I'm doing this wrong. I'm going to change names and what sports are involved to protect everyone involved. Its going to be a long one so buckle up.
So I have played "cricket" for almost 10 years, its been my life's biggest passion, whether its playing in, watching it on TV or just talking about it with anyone who could listen. If you knew me youd agree its about 90% of my personality.
In 2020, with the help of another friend 37M, we created and started our own cricket team in the local area. I played a few season with the team before ultimately becoming the Headcoach, which was my greatest achievement to date.
In 2025 "Emily" joined the team, Emily is a phenomenal cricket player, a natural and I was so excited to have her as part of the team, after a couple of training sessions, Emily messaged me asking if after training can she talk to me to which I agreed, Emily went on to inform me that she was under investigation from another sports club (badminton) after an unfortunate situation involving an underage player. Before anyone assumes absolutely nothing inappropriate or sexual took place and can confidently say that Emily did nothing wrong in that situation. She completely swears down that the whole thing was a horrific misunderstanding and I believe her fully after hearing the full story.
I made a choice as the HC of the team to not disclose this further with the governing body of the cricket team as after a risk assessment as complete I deemed her not a risk to players, especially as we have no under 18 year old players. I did say that if it ever was the case then further steps may need to be taken in the future but she was allowed to continue to play with us.
The 2025 season continued and we clicked instantly as friends, we have everything in common, so much so it's like were the same person and she ultimately became my best friend, the person Id go to with any problems, she'd come round for tea most weeks and we'd go on little mate dates for hours without getting sick of each other. Everything was great really.
Everything changed when Emily's ex gf told one of the coaches about Emily's situation to which the coach went straight to the governing body and disclosed everything, including that I was aware.
The governing body instantly suspended me and Emily. I was crushed to say the least, I wasnt allowed to talk about the situation to the other players or coaches and I also didn't want to put Emily in that position so stayed quiet. After a lengthy investigation the governing body ultimately fired me from the team.
I have never felt a pain like it, this team was my whole life and to have it taken away felt like my heart was breaking. I understand my mistakes in all of this and will always take full responsibility for my wrong doings and can in a way understand the decision to fire me but it still hurts and continues to hurt now. I had to watch my former team go on to play games and it sunk me into depression for the first time in my life, I'm ashamed to say I even contemplated taking my own life when I was at my lowest. The person helping me through all this of course was Emily.
Emily went on to play tennis with new team and I went to all her matches showing her all the support she'd given me.
Fast forward to now, last night Emily comes round for tea and informs me that the cricket team want her back playing for them and if the governing body agrees she will return as she needs to play a summer sport, tennis is done for the summer, I was stunned, I asked her why she'd even want to go back after what they did to me and she apologised and said she's missed cricket and its killed her not playing too.
I cried, she cried we talked for hours back and forth on why this was her decision and ultimately I cant choose whether or not I can support her with this. My amazing partner thinks Emily has stabbed me in the back for even thinking about returning but I just dont know. How can I watch my best friend play with a team that I was fired from for "protecting" her past choices?
I'm honestly broken and have no idea what to do, Im sorry if this doesnt make sense and will happily explain or update if anyone has questions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this, I'm just so lost.