AITA for backing out of getting an apartment with my friend?
Before I can explain the situation, there's some much needed background information. Let's call her Sally. I've known Sally for most of my life. We met in mid-childhood, and grew up together. By high school we were inseparable. She was the kind of friend I believed would be in my life forever. Thing's changed a little our sophomore year of high school, she got a boyfriend and I didn't see her as much, but we still texted a little. Senior year, we were back to normal. I eventually moved away for college, we texted constantly, and when I came home, we'd go out together and it felt like I never left.
Everything started to get complicated when i transferred back to our hometown. I started hanging out with her and some of her coworkers, people we both went to high shool with. One of them, lets call John. Sally had a major crush on John, even when she still was in a relationship for about three years. John stated that he wasn't into her because that was his co-worker and it wouldn've been awkward. This made Sally upset as she belived he was into her and leading her on. When we went out all together, Sally would get upset if John talked to me and would shove her other co-worker at me to get John away and then state "Go stop your girl from talking to John." Which in hand made it awkward for me and the other guy involved. One night I went out with just John, as Sally was gone and it was a large event at our local bar. I considered John a friend and allowed him to stay over to my house. We didn't do anything, other than sleep in the same bed. Sally found out and got extremely mad at me, she didn't talk to me for about a week after and stated, "why would you go out with him, knowing how much he upset me." I admited I was sorry, things eventually went back to normal.
Fast forward to now, it's been months me and Sally are very close again. We decided to look at apartments together, we found a place and a roommate. Just as we were about to pay security deposists and sign the lease. Our roommate said she was no longer going through with it. Causing us to need another roommate on short notice.
This is when Sally suggested John. The same guy who caused the tension in our past. I at first wasn't thinking about it like that. There was a group chat made with him to discuss this. As i thought about it further I realized this was a horrible idea, this is what blew up our friendship in the past. So I made the responsible choice to tell her I couldn't go through with it anymore. That was Wednesday, it's now almost Saturday--with no repones. I want to text her to confront her, not to argue, but finally say everything without tiptoeing or letting her punish me with silence again. However, I know if I do this our friendship will most likely not recover. So, AITA for no longer rooming with her. Also, any advice how to go about the conversation with her.