my boyfriend (m23) thinks that i (f23) suck at taking accountability
me (F23) and my partner (M23) have been together for 7 months. We’ve been fighting a lot recently in regards to conflict resolution. He tends to be a very sensitive individual, so he expects apologies for anything I do, even minor things, that hurt his feelings. There are times where I feel like the things I’m apologizing for is him nitpicking or the reasons are really inconvenient. For example; He asked me if we could do something in a game and I jokingly responded “where’s the fun of that?” with a laugh. He didn’t like that I wasn’t following what he wanted to do in the game and brushed it off. Time passed and he started being cold towards me, but I paid it no mind as we were playing with friends and I didn’t want to kill the vibe. So, I chalked it up to us talking about it later when we were alone. When we ended up alone, we had moved on and everything seemed fine so I assumed I was reading into it. Well, after a day or two he did bring it up, in a harsh tone he said “I was so frustrated because you were shafting our friend in the game and not listening to me”. This led to a bigger conversation about it that went nowhere because he wanted me to apologize and take accountability for making him feel that way, but that felt wrong to me. Regardless of all of that, I still try to apologize, with a few struggles here and there, but very recently, the way that I apologize isn’t enough for him. If I make a joke and he doesn’t like it, I will try to say something in passing like “sorry” or “that’s my bad” but it doesn’t make him feel any better. Sometimes, things will get heated first, and I’ll apologize afterwards. I could probably go into better detail than I am now, but when this happens he will respond with things like “too little too late” or “I didn’t like the way you said that” or “that doesn’t sound genuine” as I try to apologize, which discourages me, and then causes him to say that I “never apologize or take accountability” for upsetting him. I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m really trying my best, but the way our conflicts go feel so wrong for me intuitively and I feel like a doormat. Any advice on what I can do differently to apologize better or what I can say to him to help him understand me and where I’m coming from?