this depression shit is getting old
hi i’m an 18 yr old female who just graduated high school and i can’t help but feel like it’s over for me. i wish for more than anything that i could just put my feelings behind me and say fuck them and keep on pushing but it’s starting to get unbearable. i’m very blessed to live a life where things have been usually handed to me. i’m very undeserving of it if this is the outcome i chose. throughout all my teenage years, i lived in constant mental torment. i felt like like a 58 yr old miserable man with no hope just living in a bleak state. i always felt different growing up and my childhood wasn’t the best but i don’t want to blame my problems on my childhood because i know what’s done is done and i can choose to be better instead sulking about what i went through. pretty sure i might be mentally fucked though, makes it hard to not feel like this. i just feel like with people like me it’s better to just not be here not even in a depressing way but just honestly, there’s nothing for me. it’s unfortunate that i was born. i feel like america in general is just going through a mental health crisis so it genuinely feels like i am the least of anyone’s concerns which is fair idk i can’t expect anything from anyone i understand that. when i was 12 years old, i knew my life wasn’t going to be anything great but now that i’m here it just sucks living through this i didn’t expect anything more from myself. i truly believe as time goes on, the feeling is going to get genuinely unbearable and i might do something stupid. i don’t want to lose myself but it’s scary knowing that it’s probably a high possibility i can’t deny.