Completely Dumbfounded
So I (29F) matched with this guy (29M) a little over 2 weeks ago… we slowly began messaging more and more each day until switching over to texting. I was even on vacation for part of it and he had a busy work week - but we still managed to do phone calls most nights and text once or twice each day. Both of us seemed excited to meet. Planned a date to meet up after talking for 2 weeks.
Lots of flirting, great conversation, and he made it really clear to me he was searching for a relationship. Made it obvious the entire time that I had his attention. I was the more hesitant one out of the two of us since I had been on the apps much longer than him and dating much longer. I had to remind him not to get ahead of himself, and his attitude was more along the lines of “no problem - you’ll come around”
We have dinner and everything seems to be going well, the plan was to eat and bar hop a bit afterwards. Again, we had made a lot of conversation beforehand so I knew as long as he resembled his photos I’d be down to spend a few hours together. I found him attractive, and started letting loose. I decided to tell him I was comfortable to focus on one another, and he made it crystal clear he has such a busy work schedule/personal life he only has time for one woman. He was super clear about being very intentional with me.
Given this information and the dry spell I was in, I ended up taking him upstairs and we banged like bunnies. Probably my first time having sex on a first date since my early 20s. It was great, but my place was a mess and I had made it clear I was embarrassed about that. He couldn’t stay bc of work related stuff, but reassured me it wasn’t just about that and I’d hear from him next day.
Next day comes, and he reaches out in the afternoon saying he was about to head in for night shift. The following day his communication is low and he reassured me once again it was a new schedule and that he meant what we talked about. I was honest and said the change in communication after the fact made me super uneasy, and that I might need some reassurance. He agreed to that and said he’d be in touch - even told me tentatively when to expect to see him again. Later that evening… our hinge chat is completely gone. He either unmatched, or he deleted the profile.
Next day… didn’t reach out once. I tried and got nothing back. I even politely said that I felt the need to take a step back from exclusivity if the communication was going to continue this way, but that there were no hard feelings. Nada. Completely ghosted me.
I probably got too drunk and sexually aggressive so it may have been my fault… but I only did so because of how much we spoke beforehand and the conversation about exclusivity. To continue reassuring me after the fact then ghost me is just completely insane…. now I’m questioning if the entire thing was a love bombing lie or if he just couldn’t bring himself to say he lost interest. I’m dumbfounded because I was the one telling HIM to tap the breaks… then the second I agree it’s like all the effort went out the window. I was barely getting a response each day and told he’d possibly be able to see me again 2 weeks from now. I was never even the one mentioning exclusivity to begin with. I don’t regret the sex, it was much needed, but jeez if he changed his mind after the fact it’s okay to just say so.
Do you think he was love bombing me and just unmatched so that I wouldn’t see his profile??
Edit: Someone mentioned this was an important detail I left out “He was the one double texting for a week and a half, overly emphasizing how much he was looking for a relationship, and when I said I was fine with being exclusive he acted like “yeah of course”.