Venting: 6 months since he ghosted and yet I wake up everyday he’s the first thought and the last thought before I go to sleep
We had been broken up for a year and reconnected only for him to ghost. Before he ghosted, there were talks about being together, and not splitting again. This is the man I thought I would marry! I am a Muslim, I prayed for us at all the holiest sites that are out there in Islam and all for it to end like this, makes me feel soo dumb and stupid. I am so used to praying for him, that even after the breakup the prayer just comes out of me without thinking. I lost my spark, i used to have a zest for like and now I don’t. Still I force myself and trying to distract and do anything to move on. But he still shows up in my thoughts. I am too old (39y) to be like this but I can’t fight my emotions or thoughts. I don’t know if it’s because I poured so much not realizing that I didn’t even mean anything, or that this is the first person I dated on a serious level… idk what it is..but is it possible that I will never move on… what do I do? I don’t want to waste my whole life. I have done therapy too but doesn’t help.