How do I handle my husband being upset with me for telling his family that I bought our house?
Husband and I got married a year ago and moved to a new city for his work. My parents bought me a small apartment about 10 years ago and I used that money and added more of my savings and had bought an apartment in the city we will live in. He first said he is not comfortable living in the apartment since it is not ours. I told him it makes no sense to rent if we have our own place since we don’t have any debt on the house either. It’s nothing fancy, but big enough for the two of us and for his parents or mine to visit.
We were out for dinner with his family and his cousins kept saying how great it was that he bought an apartment for us. He didn’t correct them or say anything. After back and forth comments about where it was, how big it was, how excited I must be, I am so lucky - I told them that I bought the apartment. I felt like he should have corrected them earlier but I realized later on that he himself had told them that he bought the apartment for us.
The family didn’t say much to me, but I think they disapprove of “wife earning or owning more than husband” because after we came back, husband got very mad at me for saying this. He also said he will never live there now because family will judge him. I don’t get this. If he had bought an apartment, everyone in my family would be so happy for us to start our lives with such stability. He has told me time and again that he doesn’t have the savings or earnings to afford buying a house (which is fine by me). All his family in our generation (cousins, siblings etc.) live in rented places so I guess it not something that he thinks is super important.
I am just surprised at how angry he has gotten because he now refuses to talk to me, has told me that I should discuss with him before saying anything to his family and that I have disrespected him beyond measure. I didn’t know that he had lied to his family so I don’t know what I could have done.