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I (22M) matched with a girl (21F) on Hinge a few months ago. Things moved pretty fast—she wanted to get into a relationship quickly, and since she seemed genuine and affectionate, I agreed. We’ve been together for about 3 months now.
She’s honestly very sweet and caring. She expresses love a lot, checks in on me, and tries to understand my issues. The emotional connection is strong.
But there are a few things that are starting to bother me.
First, we’re in very different stages of life. She just started her first year of MBBS (after taking a couple of attempts), while I’m already working full-time. I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s hard to communicate or relate because our routines and priorities are quite different.
Second, we’re long distance. The bigger issue is that we almost never get to meet properly. When she comes home for holidays, she isn’t allowed to go out because of strict family rules. The only time I see her is at the railway station when she’s leaving, and that too for maybe 1–2 hours.
She asks me to visit her college, but it’s very far from where I live, in a pretty remote area, and it’s not really feasible for me to travel there often with my job.
We’ve talked about this, and she does try to find solutions, but it usually ends with “we’ll properly go out and spend time together after I finish MBBS.” That’s several years away, which feels like a long time to just rely on calls and texts.
I do like her, and I don’t doubt that she cares about me. But I’m starting to feel like this relationship is very strong emotionally but doesn’t have much real-life foundation right now. I’m also worried that most of the adjustment is expected from my side (travel, managing time, etc.), even though her situation isn’t really her fault.
I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this or if this is something that will become a bigger issue later.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it realistic to continue like this for years, or should I consider stepping back before getting more emotionally invested?
TL;DR:
22M in a 3-month LDR with 21F MBBS student. Strong emotional connection, but we barely meet, she’s not allowed out at home, and visiting her college is impractical for me. She suggests waiting until she finishes MBBS (years) to spend real time together. Feeling like the relationship is emotionally intense but lacks real-life foundation. Unsure whether to continue or step back before getting more invested.