I'm changing
I recently have realized that I am the person who doesn't get invited to hangout, even at important friend group events such as sleepovers or big hangouts. The way other people talk about me seems so demented, dehumanizing as if I am just a horrible concept, perverted, messed up person to not bring to close because I am to weird to hang around if not required.
I would consider myself a popular person, meaning that I talk to other people that are will known in appreciated by the majority of people where I go, and the other gender. I have stoped made attempts to quit porn but in the past but now I am sober 4 days an counting !! 🥳 I am also in schizophrenic indused psychosis ever sense 5 years when I discovered momo's existence, with only adds to the sadness , back to the point is that even though I know my " friends " is that they don't know or care to care about me, i went to rehab last year and medical hospital, no one cared to call me except my parents 1 one time a week, theu dont know, care, or will ever care for me.
There is this girl in my life that's name will remain secret, I have liked her ever since 5th grade in a romantic, sexual way that has dated and obsessed over people and I get so sad to see her with others, I hate to see myself liking a girl in a relationship because that is just fucked up for me to intrude on something that is not mine to do so. I am to nervous to talk to her because of my fucking porn addiction has ruined my social skills with women, I am desperate to be with someone who understands how I am and what I think.
What I am sad about only consist or concerns of other people so from now on I will cut off most of my life relating to other people, addictions, and life