My ex trying so hard to patch up with me
M29. My ex F26 broke up with me on 1st January 2026, after a four-year relationship.
The breakup hit me hard. For almost one and a half months, I begged her to stay. I cried, lost around 4 kg, got sick, and was living alone through all of it. What hurt even more was that she didn’t seem to care.
Eventually, I accepted that it was over.
Looking back now, I can see our relationship had cracks for a long time.
She was the kind of person who watched a lot of K-dramas, and somewhere along the way, I felt her expectations of love and relationships became a little unrealistic. We had good moments, especially in the beginning. For the first year, our physical intimacy was great. But later, things changed. She started feeling that being sexually active would somehow change her body or make her “look older,” and intimacy slowly disappeared.
For me, physical intimacy mattered. I have a high libido, and I never saw it as something dirty or shameful. I wasn’t out chasing other women when she wasn’t around. I wanted that connection with my partner. But instead of understanding that, she started making taunts about my needs, as if wanting closeness made me wrong.
We were in a long-distance relationship, and communication was never easy. Honestly, it often felt like walking on eggshells. I always had to think ten times before saying anything because I already knew how she might react.
At the same time, she often told me that I didn’t love her.
That hurt, because love was never my problem.
I’m not the most verbally affectionate guy. My love language has always been action. Waking up early to make breakfast, taking care of small things, planning trips, making her comfortable, dropping her to her cab, putting her needs before mine—that’s how I loved.
But somewhere, I realized that being understood mattered to me too. I wanted a relationship where I could speak freely, without fear of arguments, judgment, or emotional punishment. I wanted emotional safety just as much as physical intimacy.
There were other things too. Sometimes I’d be cooking in the kitchen while she’d be lying on the bed scrolling Instagram. I started feeling less like a partner and more like someone constantly trying to hold everything together alone. I mean I had several reason to breakup, but I stayed, I though we will figure out things together.
After the breakup, just when I was trying to heal, she made it even harder.
There were constant calls- 30 to 40 a day- messages, checking what I was ordering on Zepto, stalking my number of followers count, monitoring my life in every possible way. I deactivated Instagram, disappeared socially, and started living almost like a ghost- quietly focusing on myself, my health, my career, and rebuilding my peace.
And slowly… something changed.
I stopped reacting.
I stopped explaining.
I stopped chasing.
I became calm.
I became leaner (15% body fat)
Meanwhile, she moved on and got involved with another guy. At one point, she even tried to make me jealous by telling me intimate things about him (it was a trauma)- almost as if she wanted a reaction.
But this time, I gave her none. The best thing about me was that I never reacted.
I stayed calm. Composed. Unbothered.
And now, ironically, the roles have reversed.
She’s the one trying hard to come back. Saying sorry. Wanting to patch things up. Reaching out again and again. Giving me sexual favours, and sharing images of her.
But now I have boundaries.
And for the first time in a long time, I’m choosing myself.