Am I wrong for not wanting to hold emotional space for someone who didn't hold it for me?
I posted here months ago after finding out that two people very close to me, someone I had a complicated emotional/sexual history with and a close friend, had started dating behind my back.
At the time, what hurt most wasn't even the relationship itself. It was the secrecy, the gaslighting, the way I was left sitting in confusion while both of them already knew what was happening.
I ended up going fully no contact. I disappeared quietly, processed it privately, and eventually reached a place of peace.
I did send one final message months later explaining my side calmly, mainly for my own closure. I made it very clear that I wasn't emotionally ready for phone calls and preferred texting only.Fast forward to now:
Out of nowhere, my former friend recently messaged me saying that she and him are over. Very abruptly. Almost immediately after that, she started repeatedly calling me late at night, multiple times between midnight and 1:30am.What I can't wrap my head around is this: why tell me immediately that they broke up?
And why repeatedly call me when I've already stated I'm not comfortable with calls? I think what's bothering me most is that it almost feels like she expects emotional space, comfort, or access from me now that she's hurting, when during the original situation I felt like my own emotions were treated as an inconvenience.
I'm not asking this from a revenge angle. I genuinely want outside perspective. Why do you think someone behaves like this after months of silence and after a breakup?