How to stop rumination loop of bad fantasy
I met my boyfriend at university and we have been together for almost two years. In the middle of our relationship he had a female friend and he crossed some boundaries with her multiple times. He was never in a relationship with her but what happened really hurt me. He realized his mistake and apologized.
Things are good between us now. He barely even talks to her anymore because he is also focused on his career and his own life. When they do talk it is normally just as friends and there is nothing romantic going on.
But because of what happened in the past I still get triggered whenever I think about her. My brain automatically goes back to the old events and then starts creating bad scenarios about my relationship like us breaking up or getting divorced.
I know these things are not happening and I don’t even want to think about them but the thoughts still come back. I have a normal life. I study. I exercise and I am career focused. But this pattern has become automatic and sometimes it really affects my peace.
Has anyone experienced this? How did you stop this kind of rumination and train your mind to stop going back to the same old fears?