US husband passed away
My MIL called me today to tell me that my husband died alone in his apartment in the U.S. The police contacted her first since I’m in the Philippines.
He always dreamed of retiring here in the Philippines and finally enjoying a peaceful life, but addiction and depression had other plans for him. Over the years, alcohol completely changed him. He lost his job, his health got worse, and he became broke to the point that early retirement became impossible.
When he was sober, he was loving and caring. He would send me flowers, call me “mahal,” and be responsible and thoughtful. But when he drank or isolated himself, he became a completely different person. He was always drunk. He would message other women, pretend he was single online, and show narcissistic behavior toward me that got worse over time. I even paused the Spousa Visa application because he is getting worse.
I’m 36F and he was 54M. Last March was supposed to be our 3rd wedding anniversary, but he forgot because he was heavily drinking after losing his job. He had been unemployed for around 6 months because of alcohol and declining health. We fought constantly near the end.
Eventually I stopped contacting him because I hoped maybe hitting rock bottom would finally push him to turn his life around. Instead, today I got the call that he was gone.
I feel devastated because the good man I originally met slowly disappeared to alcoholism and depression. I still remember who he used to be before everything consumed him. He spent a lot of time reading advice from expats here and probably would have gotten along with many of you.
I’m heartbroken and struggling with guilt, sadness, anger, and relief all at the same time. At least now he’s finally at peace and not suffering or drinking anymore.
I really wish things had turned out differently. I am also his beneficiary in everything, but I am not there and don't think I can go there in tkme. I will let his family handle it, I am still in shock and heart broken.