u/Express-Leopard5339

This is a hail mary, I think I'm entirely lost. I'm 15, ftm, I've been trying to diy for near a year now and just finally about 4 days ago stopped being a pussy and tried to order supplies. I lost all of my money to my prepaid card being put on hold for potential fraud. The support people wanted an ID and I do not have one. And even then it just sounded sketchy. It was 100 dollars, all I have now is about 40 bucks cash and I'm afraid to to get another card. The needles/syringes I think I can figure out myself somehow? I mean I have enough for them and maybe I could try to walk off next time I got with my parents to walmart and see if I can get some otc because there's a pharamcy connected to that walmart. If not I don't know but I don't wanna be a total fucking bum and ask for that too. But the testosterone itself I'm absolutely lost on I don't have the money for it and even if I did I don't understand crypto well. I feel disgusted with myself, I don't want to wait any longer than even just three months from now, I feel at that point I'll be too far gone with fucking growth plates or whatever and I'll be stuck as a fucking disgusting double puberty flesh sack creature for the rest of my life. I wish I'd just tried doing this so long ago I feel so disgusting and like I'll be like this forever. I planned to just die if I couldn't get this done soon enough, I just didn't expect for everything to fail so early on. I'll do anything really I'm desperate i can provide the proof that the card was put on hold or whatever I can voice call to explain stuff better, I'm desperate and I don't know what to do. I hate to ebeg but I feel like it's all I can do now I'm really sorry I'm just lost.

Edit: I think I have someone helping me now actually. But I'm not sure if it will work out. I'm not sure what's happening in general, still might need help with the needles. I don't know. I don't know anything.

What the title says. Im 15, for months I've done everything I could towards getting diy trt and I don't know if I'll be able to at all anymore. I put 100 bucks on a prepaid visa card and tried to buy a syringe/needle kit before testosterone because I'd rather be caught ordering needles than that, and it got rejected and now the card is restricted and on some kind of security hold. Apparently it can take like sometimes 90 days or possibly never for it to be resolved, and I'm scared I've just lost the majority of the money I had for this. I didn't want to wait any longer, I'm scared the longer I wait the more likely it is that my growth plates will have closed and I'll be deformed and disgusting for the rest of my life, I'd rather not even live. Even if I do get this resolved somehow I'm absolutely retarded about crypto and don't think any p2p sites would even accept a prepaid card. I don't know anymore I'm so scared. I'm gonna stop being a pussy and try to call tomorrow to see if I can get the hold taken off ? and just claim the needles were for insulin or something. If it doesn't work I think I'll just give up, waiting any longer wouldn't be worth it I'd rather just die. Half asking for advice or wanting to know if anyone else has gone through this, half just complaining.