u/ExpressChampionship3

Im 25 and I've been struggling with my relationship with alcohol for awhile and have been trying to cut back. Im starting grad school this month, Im trying really hard to get into excerising more, but most importantly alcohol is wreaking havoc on my anxiety levels. And I know my drinkong habits are only going to hurt me if I want to reach those goals.

I go round and round with myself on regretting drinking. It used to be a lot worse and id go to work hung over all the time. I don't really do that anymore thank god. But I'm still drinking at night.

I honestly picked a good ( or terrible time depending on how you look at it) to try and get serious about it. We had to put our dog down last week after we've known hes had cancer the past 3 months. And my gut reaction to having a bad day is to drink...and then regret it, feel ashamed and embarrassed and have awful anxiety.

I started using trydry to track my sober days. And I can successfully do 1 dry day but then the next day 6 pm rolls around and I get the urge and I drink. Better than everyday though... so progress I suppose.

I can't seem to get myself to last more than a day. I started out 2 weeks ago like yeah this should be easy right???? No.... my goal now i think is to by dry 3 days in a row.

How do you curb those alcohol cravings? I don't really want to admit to anyone im drinking more than I should and want to cut back because Im ashamed. I also don't want to go back to a certain doctor untill i can give him good blood work by not drinking for two weeks. Ive been trying to do that and its been such a struggle.

Any advice is welcomed. I guess im just really mad at myself that ive found myself in this shame spiral with alcohol.

I'm in the bathroom minding my business, plucking my chin hairs as one does. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THESE BLACK WINGED GOD FORSAKEN CREATURES ARE SWARMING EVERYWHERE!!!!!

I obviously scream bloody murder, because I have never in my 25 years of being alive EVER SEEN SO MANY BUGS IN MY HOUSE AT THE SAME TIME.

My boyfriend came to the rescue with the vacuum and I ran to Walmart and practically bought the entire shelf of bug killer.

This of course had to happen the night before I have to get surgery out of town and we aren't able to get in contact with our landlord. The guy is in his late 80s, so lets pray he's okay and not in the hospital or something.

We sprayed and vacuumed the living crap out of everything and they seem to have stopped coming in.....for now....

Please please let these GOD FORSAKEN CREATURES be flying ants and not termites. 😭😭😭 I need to know if my anxiety is warranted or if everything will be fine.

We've already booked an appt with an extermination company for Tuesday.

And we live in Flagstaff Arizona, US.

Please and thank you for your help and expertise identifying these abominations.