Leaving Islam in my mind, but still stuck on unanswered questions
I’m going through a phase where I’m questioning a lot of things about religion especially Islam. I’m trying to organize my thoughts rather than just rejecting or accepting things too quickly but the more I think about it the more contradictions I seem to run into.
One of the first points is the very idea of creation. In religious discourse there are different explanations that are often given. On one hand God is described as perfect self sufficient and in need of nothing meaning our existence doesn’t fulfill any “need” from Him. On the other hand it’s often explained that we were created for a purpose that concerns us to experience life to discover good and evil to recognize God’s love and potentially reach paradise if we follow the right path. In Islam specifically there is also a strong idea of submission where humans are created to recognize God worship Him and submit to Him.
But when I try to put all of that together it becomes hard to see it as fully coherent. If the purpose is purely human experience then why such a complex system with eternal consequences tied to a limited and short life? And if submission is also a core aspect then it starts to resemble a relationship based on authority and obedience rather than just “life experience.” Either way I struggle to find an explanation that feels fully consistent or satisfying.
Another major issue for me is hell and justice. The idea of eternal punishment for a finite life is extremely difficult to reconcile with the notion of divine mercy. And beyond that there’s the question of intention if someone doesn’t believe due to sincere doubt intellectual honesty or genuine searching does that really deserve an infinite consequence? To me it’s hard to see how that aligns with perfect justice and it sometimes feels more like a system centered on obedience than understanding.
Despite all of this there are still things that hold me back especially anything related to the paranormal. Near death experiences where people claim to have seen heaven or hell very vivid dreams cases of possession or other unexplained phenomena across different cultures. What disturbs me is that these experiences seem universal yet interpreted differently depending on the religion with each one claiming them as proof of its own truth. I don’t have a clear explanation for all of this but I also try to remind myself that not knowing something doesn’t automatically mean the religious explanation is correct.
There are also stories about deals with the devil in exchange for fame in music cinema or social media often involving hidden symbols or rituals. For some believers this is actually seen as indirect proof of the existence of God and the unseen world if evil can influence or operate in this way then good must exist too and therefore God must exist. At the same time I’m not sure whether these narratives are real evidence or simply human interpretations of success coincidence and storytelling built around fame.
In the end I’m kind of in between. The more I think about it the more inconsistencies I see in the overall structure of religious systems but there are still elements especially anything paranormal that leave me with doubt and prevent me from fully concluding anything. Deep down I don’t really know why we exist but I’m trying to stay honest with my questions without forcing an overly simple answer in either direction