u/ExpressionAlone5204

To people that kept bitching about the Bald Eagle’s salary or saying he’ll be moved, it’s not happening. We’re gonna build him a fucking statue.
▲ 308 r/Thunder

To people that kept bitching about the Bald Eagle’s salary or saying he’ll be moved, it’s not happening. We’re gonna build him a fucking statue.

These casuals don’t know, and some of them in our own sub.

As you pull out of QT eating your Braums burger, ask yourself: who’s the greatest role player of all time?

Alex Fucking Caruso, that’s who.

We get bounced and the next year this man has our defense magically at a historic rate. Same squad, but we jumped from top 5 to absolutely historic, “bitch about your superstar and trade his ass” defense. Give us the championship, good fucking night. But none of that happens without AC. He saved a few games last year and he’s at it again.

Yes, we paid even more. And guess what? He outplays guys getting paid double when it counts. Who has more net points than SGA in 38 minutes or Wemby in 37 minutes in this series? That’s right, it’s the Bald Eagle. AND OFF THE BENCH in 25 MINUTES.

AC should just stand for “Absolute Chaos” from now on. Because he’s an F5 coming through to fuck your shit up.

You’re down to game 7 and don’t know how to stop the great Jokic? Alex Caruso.

You’ve got an alien and have no game plan for how to guard him? Try Alex Caruso and he’ll give you an all time game.

Honestly, imagine the Spurs had traded a 1st for Caruso. What’s this series look like with him coming off of their bench? Guys, IT WOULDNT LOOK GOOD

This man sits in a lab all year like a Dragon Ball Z character with tubes attached to his ass just to unleash his power against Jokic, Wemby, and anyone else that stands in the way.

He’ll never be an All Star, but he’ll always be the winner where most of them shrank. He’ll never be on a max, but he’ll always give you the max. He’s got that Brodie all-out DNA and the LeBron BBIQ and the playoff fight of Rondo and the same clutch gene SGA has.

This dude is the pitbull of the NBA. And coming from the G league to future 3x champion, not a bus rider, everything that KD could never be. If Chet can gain a little by osmosis he can be an all time great.

We are blessed to have this man as the defense’s linebacker, calling out plays and destroying their plans in the process. Not another bench player in the league is feared as much as AC.

So get used to winning. The man isn’t overpaid, he’s not getting traded, he’s going to retire in the orange and blue and get a statue before he hopefully slides in as a coach for the team.

u/ExpressionAlone5204 — 1 day ago
▲ 8 r/nba

The Thunder won’t have the same roster next year. The question is who’s out and who’s interested?

Thunder have been excellent, in part because so many players have played together for so long as they evolved. But now there’s a logjam and new rookies coming in. Cap space is non existent. Something has to change.

As much as Thunder fans would like to ignore it, it’s an impending change like walking The Walking Dead coming up and not knowing who’s getting hit with a bat. For the rest of the league, it a chance to have some talent with untapped potential.

Who are they?

Lu Dort.

The only starter likely to move is Lu Dort. And as the rest of the league hates him, it’s likely that one new fan base is going to love him. After he signed with Klutch, it seems impossible that he doesn’t go somewhere new. Of course the Klutch -> Lakers connection is what everyone’s looking at. Definitely having Smart and Dort on the same team would frustrate teams left and right.

Bench players.. nobody but Presti knows. But it could be any combination of Aaron Wiggins, Kenrich Williams, and anybody else who’s privately asked to get to another team for more playing time.

The question is who’s is, rather who wouldn’t be, interested in adding some championship guys looking for a bigger role? Maybe Topic, maybe Isaiah Joe. Especially team friendly contracts like Joe, Wiggins, and Williams when high AAV contracts are more valuable than ever. One team could add immediate depth and defense overnight.

Question is who’s the best fit? And how much do you think it costs?

With the bench needing to develop guys like the next rookie, Sorber currently on the bench, and being unable to convert 2 way players that deserved it like Brandon Carlson, it probably won’t be for any players unless they’re on an amazing AAV contract themselves. More likely to be for future picks alone.

Lakers have the cap space to shore up that depth issue and add incredible defense overnight. Less guys you scream at, more hungry guys that have proven themselves in the clutch through multiple championship runs. Who else would make that short list?

reddit.com
u/ExpressionAlone5204 — 9 days ago
▲ 1.2k r/Thunder

To everyone that hates the Thunder: Welcome to our sub and fuck your team

You know what, facts, we’re 49th in education. No real clubs or nightlife in the city compared to NY or LA.

We got a fleece trade from the Clippers. Hell, people are bitching that we fleeced the 76ers too.

Our guys are corny and like each other far more than your team. McCain makes TikToks and paints his nails.

Dort injured your superstar. Twice. And JWill drew a charge when you screamed “That’s should be illegal!!!”

Chet looks skinny. Looks like Abraham Lincoln too, it’s true.

We are so deep it’s appalling. An apparent embarrassment that we have a GM that spots talent and builds a winning culture. We went straight from “They aren’t good enough, they’re too young,” to, “It’s not fair!!”

I’ve literally never seen people cry so much, and whether you’re a TikTok kid or a grown ass man or a bot, I couldn’t really give fewer fucks. Most of our guys nobody wanted, were G league or late 2nd round or undrafted or waived or traded for nothing. We built that up, and guarantee your team could’ve had 90% of our players but didn’t see the potential.

So to you, since you’re checking in on this sub: fuck you, fuck your shitty team, fuck your free throw narrative, fuck your okc ref conspiracy, fuck your Lu Dort and Caruso bitching, fuck your mom, fuck your bitching and complaining about a product that’s supposedly unwatchable but here you are watching.

It’s fun for my team to win, but it’s more fun to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

So get your belt to ass and then have fun and fuck off to Cancun. Taking another Championship this year and you can get another full year of salty fucking tears. Bitching is your favorite past time since your team sucks. Complain about injuries or foul calls or whatever it is, embarrass yourself all you want. But you’re gonna sit right there in that cuck chair at your computer desk while SGA hoists another fucking trophy.

Edit: I didn’t expect this to blow up. Thanks all, and especially to the people that gave this rant some awards!

Also: I don’t know what 50 is but apparently it’s some number above 49 and it’s where our education is. Hooray! We’re the top!

Again: if you didn’t catch the quote from Conan The Barbarian, not my circus, not my monkey. Automod removed this before I could comment: “I’m more worried about the “lamentation of their women” part you socially inept incel monkey”

Right. I’m the weirdo for quoting Arnie. You’re not the weirdo for coming into another sub and talking about shit you are uninformed about. THE GASLIGHTING BY MORONS MUST STOP

reddit.com
u/ExpressionAlone5204 — 14 days ago
▲ 39 r/Thunder

Celtics played like some bums.

Edit: My B, did not know it was locked. I am now elated the Celtics lost and a Thunder legend won on his birthday.

reddit.com
u/ExpressionAlone5204 — 20 days ago