
To people that kept bitching about the Bald Eagle’s salary or saying he’ll be moved, it’s not happening. We’re gonna build him a fucking statue.
These casuals don’t know, and some of them in our own sub.
As you pull out of QT eating your Braums burger, ask yourself: who’s the greatest role player of all time?
Alex Fucking Caruso, that’s who.
We get bounced and the next year this man has our defense magically at a historic rate. Same squad, but we jumped from top 5 to absolutely historic, “bitch about your superstar and trade his ass” defense. Give us the championship, good fucking night. But none of that happens without AC. He saved a few games last year and he’s at it again.
Yes, we paid even more. And guess what? He outplays guys getting paid double when it counts. Who has more net points than SGA in 38 minutes or Wemby in 37 minutes in this series? That’s right, it’s the Bald Eagle. AND OFF THE BENCH in 25 MINUTES.
AC should just stand for “Absolute Chaos” from now on. Because he’s an F5 coming through to fuck your shit up.
You’re down to game 7 and don’t know how to stop the great Jokic? Alex Caruso.
You’ve got an alien and have no game plan for how to guard him? Try Alex Caruso and he’ll give you an all time game.
Honestly, imagine the Spurs had traded a 1st for Caruso. What’s this series look like with him coming off of their bench? Guys, IT WOULDNT LOOK GOOD
This man sits in a lab all year like a Dragon Ball Z character with tubes attached to his ass just to unleash his power against Jokic, Wemby, and anyone else that stands in the way.
He’ll never be an All Star, but he’ll always be the winner where most of them shrank. He’ll never be on a max, but he’ll always give you the max. He’s got that Brodie all-out DNA and the LeBron BBIQ and the playoff fight of Rondo and the same clutch gene SGA has.
This dude is the pitbull of the NBA. And coming from the G league to future 3x champion, not a bus rider, everything that KD could never be. If Chet can gain a little by osmosis he can be an all time great.
We are blessed to have this man as the defense’s linebacker, calling out plays and destroying their plans in the process. Not another bench player in the league is feared as much as AC.
So get used to winning. The man isn’t overpaid, he’s not getting traded, he’s going to retire in the orange and blue and get a statue before he hopefully slides in as a coach for the team.