"teenage years will be the best years of your life" yet i need help
Hello reddit, i'm currently 16M and i struggle with anxiety and depression. I have no one to tell because at home i'd be told that if i say that again they will put me in a psych ward, and i just think that my friends (the ones that aren't actually fake so two) don't understand. Most people think that i am a weirdo because of my past behavior and looks, and avoid me. When i actually find friends i can't trust them because i think that they actually just laugh at me behind my back or use me. Im also struggling with hypervigilance because of the feeling that people around me hate me. I also sleep at home all day and don't even have energy to go out because i feel like i will be judged. sometimes i want to end it but im just a loser and will never actually do it. I feel like getting a girlfriend would help but because of my looks and weight (that i struggle to change because i feel like being judged at the gym or outside) i can't find one. I am also really introverted yet i don't want to be introverted. Im also always tired. I love to be alone, yet i hate being lonely. i am always angry and i feel bad because my sister is just a kid and doesnt understand why im angry. I just can't take it anymore, any tips what to do?