I recently lost the love of my life; he is always present. I need help learning to communicate with him.
On May 11, I lost the love of my life, my partner of four years; just a month and a day before he turned nineteen. He and I had been together since our sophomore year of high school. His death was very tragic and unexpected, and he chose me to be the last person he saw and spoke to. Prior to this in March, I had two malevolent entities attached to me from an awful living situation which had manifested in front of me and attempted to attack me on one occasion, and on another had woken me up by breathing what sounded like a death rattle in my ear. Hunter, my partner, was aware of this attachment and what I had been experiencing.
I did not find out about Hunter’s death until the morning of May 13, please keep that in mind. Those two beings were around me consistently and constantly, but by the night of May 11 were gone. On the evening of May 12, I saw a being manifest in front of me at the side of the closet doors beside my bed, and it felt very familiar and slightly comforting. The closet is significant because that is where Hunter used to stand when we were younger/had just started dating and was not allowed on my bed. The height of the being matched exactly his, 6’3, as my closet doors are slotted and it’s easy to remember how tall he stood next to him.
I also would like to point out how deep our connection ran: I feel as if my body knew he was gone before I did. Around the time of his death on May 11, and all throughout May 12, something felt off. On the 12, I was very not okay— I was incredibly depressed that day and felt physically exhausted and weak with no explanation.
We made a promise to each other that if one of us died before the other, we’d haunt the absolute hell out of each other. And a lot of strange things have been happening since his death. I’ll find my water bottle to be inexplicably drained at random intervals, stuff around my bedroom that’s hard to lose will move around or go missing (sometimes temporarily). Hunter was a big weed smoker, and I enjoy smoking pot but I don’t have a huge tolerance— three hits off of a joint and I’m stoned. I smoked a joint one night, and it burnt like there was a second person hitting it, the smoke was even flowing strangely. I asked him that night if he wanted to hit my vape, and it lit up and started smoking. Sometimes I’ll hold my vape out and I can see either some visible energy around it OR it’ll start smoking, I even witnessed a hand grab it. On another occasion I took off a necklace that he’d gotten me and laid it on my bed, I walked back into my bedroom five minutes later and it was knotted up.
I bought a new vape this Sunday to keep around for him, as I personally really only do it as a social/under the influence thing. It’s been draining noticeably, and the way the juice keeps disappearing matches the life span of his vape when he was alive. One evening it disappeared from my bed, and when I went to look for it I found his matching slippers stacked perfectly on top of mine. Five minutes later, it reappeared in my bed beside my pillow perfectly stood up. About a week and a half ago, I was smoking with some friends and suddenly witnessed a phenomenon in which I saw his aura merged overtop with mine. I’ve also noticed my friends with malevolent spiritual attachments have seemed to avoid being around me, and I’ve drawn to the conclusion that he is there in some sort of protective way. These are all just the signs coming to mind currently, but he’s always showing me signs or messing with my stuff. There’s also events in his life he’s told me about (but never told me when/the date/the age), and he’s given me dates that I’ve fact checked with his sister and sure enough they were the correct dates matching a certain situation/event.
There’s no question about it, he’s here. He is always here 24/7, sometimes I can feel or see him wrap his hands/arms around me for a split second or I’ll see the faint outline of his energy. I talk out loud to him often, and I have a lot of his belongings/gifts, as well as wear his jewelry. But what I want to know is how can I communicate better, is there a chance I could hear him regularly or see him in more detail? I’ve heard his voice on a few occasions, but it’s always been very faint. His presence is so warm and comforting.
I know it’s a lot to read, and I want to thank you all for your time and I’m so sorry for the lengthy message but I’m really not sure what to do/say other than explain. I just really need some advice to be able to improve communicating with/seeing him, because I can feel that he is always here with me. He hasn’t left my side, just like he promised if something were to ever happen. And I know some people think it’s just the grief but stuff has been genuinely happening and I don’t think it’s some sort of trickster spirit trying to take advantage. Please help me, and thank you.