Imagine this…
The Knicks are playing the Spurs in the NBA finals and its game 7 at MSG, the Knicks are down by two with fifteen seconds left when suddenly Jalen Brunson is punched in the eye by Victor Wembanyama. *gasp* He goes down hard, the coach looks to the bench to see who can replace him but the entire team is shaking with fear, none of the other players know the acoustics of MSG well enough to play their best, *sigh* it looks like all hope is lost when suddenly a voice whispers in Knicks coach Mike Browns ear, “let’s get this show on the road” he whips around to see none other than Trey Anastasio in full Knicks uniform proudly standing on the sidelines. In this moment it feels like time has turned elastic as Anastasio takes the court, San Antonio has possession and as they try to inbound the ball, there is a flurry of red hair and pasty knees when suddenly… Trey has stolen the ball! He is weaving through the defense effortlessly, performing moves previously thought to be impossible in a conventional game, as he crosses half court it’s clear that the man is playing type II basketball. He pulls up just behind the three point line and straight up sinks the most perfect shot anyone has ever seen. The ball goes in and… Ecstasy. MSG erupts in a thunderous roar, confetti is everywhere, CK5 is going NUTS on the lights, the coaches and team mates rush the court to celebrate but they look around and Trey is… gone… just vanished. Everyone is stunned and confused, where has our hero gone? CK5 smiles to himself because he knows Big Red is already in a taxi home to see his loving wife and practice for summer tour. Trey smiles at MSG as his taxi pulls away from the venue “All in a days work, I’ll be back in July” he says to himself with a slight chuckle, when the taxi arrives at his apartment he tips the driver generously.
Chills… Trey is Le goat