Has anyone actually recovered after feeling this stuck?
I’ve been trying to “recover” on my own for over a year now. I stopped heavily restricting, and I’m not purging as much as I used to and thought I’d be better but I still feel completely stuck. It feels like I traded one form of chaos for another
I’ve already gained around 12 kg, and I think that’s made everything even harder mentally, I don’t even care about being “perfect” anymore I just want to feel normal around food again.
I keep falling into binge cycles, I keep most of the food but sometimes i purge, and I have zero control around food,every single time I try to restart, I tell myself the same things
“I won’t restrict”
“I won’t binge”
“I’ll just eat normal meals”
But nothing ever sticks
I’ve tried everythinggg eating more protein, more fiber, not restricting, eating 2700 cals plus every single day for almost 3 months, allowing all foods, meal structure, starting over every Monday… and somehow I always end up back in the same place
At this point, I’m just exhausted. Mentally exhausted. I feel lost and hopeless because no matter what approach I take nothing seems to work long term. I miss feeling normal around food and not having my entire day revolve around eating, guilt, and trying to “fix” myself
I honestly don’t even know what to do anymore