pls.. after 3 years of being like this, i'm so tired of the cycle !! i heard that prozac helps a lot with bulimia.. but i just want to make sure because if i go to the doctor about it, it'll be the first time i've ever told anyone irl about my eating disorder which to me is so embarrassing😭, and i want it to seriously help me and make a difference 😭😭😭 im so desperate
Hi all, my partner has recently admitted to herself & I that she has bulimia. This is the first admission/coming to terms of any kind & we are the only two people that know. She worked very hard over the last 9 months to hide it from me, although I knew she was vomiting daily, she always kept a long thought-out of conspiracy of what it ‘could’ be but didn’t like me pushing too hard for answers. I had a feeling all along that it was bulimia. Now that she’s made the first step, I’m really concerned, as the only research she’s done into it recently is things like ‘tips on how to vomit more/easier’ which is obviously the exact opposite to getting help. She’s had such a rapid loss of weight, she can barely walk around without being dizzy and faint. I’m scared that it’s going to accelerate but I don’t know how to help her. She’s agreed to talk to a therapist if I arrange it, but she will only do that alone. Do I just have to trust she’s being honest? And she’s convinced (because she’s currently a ‘healthy weight’), that nothing is wrong with her. Any advice or suggestions is/are welcome. Thank you
I feel like I'll never get recovery. No one around me notices I've been acting differently in the past few months. Yesterday I was told that I was in a good mood and they missed it from me. I hadn't eaten in 26 hours at that point. I feel like I'm losing my mind everyday and no one seems to notice or care. It feels like no matter how bad I seem to get no one will care enough to see it or question it. I just want help. Even at my worst I get praised for being in a "good mood."
i started bp around 2 months ago and my period came a week too early this month, i was concerned so i did some research and apparently it means my metabolism is slowing down? is that true? and if it is what am i supposed to do now
TL;DR: I read my recovery sentences in rusty Spanish each morning. Producing the foreign words takes focus, focus takes time, and time is what I never had during urges.
A few years into bulimia recovery. The thing that's helped me most isn't from any treatment guide.
The urge moves faster than my thinking. By the time my brain catches up to "you don't have to," I'm already in the kitchen. "Challenge the thought" advice always felt insulting because there's no time to challenge anything.
So I tried something stupid. I read my recovery sentences in rusty Spanish each morning (took two years in high school, forgot most of it). And it's the only thing that's stuck — not because the sentences are special, but because my mouth has to actually work to say them. I can't skim them like I can in English. Saying *puedo pausar, respirar, y elegir* (I can pause, breathe, and choose) takes effort. By the time I've gotten through it I've taken a beat.
Doesn't have to be deep affirmations. Could be any sentence. The trick is producing it requires focus, and focus takes time, and time was what I was missing.
Most days the urge still wins. But sometimes I can pull the sentence up first and that ten seconds is enough.
If anyone wants to hear what it sounds like, I made a tiny page with audio: https://sottosay.pages.dev — kept it neutral so it doesn't out you in public.
Anyone else found a small thing like this that helped?
i just feel like im faking it because i binge so often
Literally maintain my weight almost exactly from last year (just went to the dr). This is so stupid. Can’t even look sick and skinny from this, just slowly killing myself anyways
it’s every day basically. multiple times a day. idk what to do. i’m so annoyed with myself because why don’t i just not do this. i’m tired and sad.
i’m rewatching sharing the secret and i forgot how much the scene when beth tells her mom makes me cry 🥲
Honestly I'm feeling pretty good, food noise has consumed a lot of my daily thought but not all of it which is a nice break. I think it helps that I've got exams on right now (which sort of seems counter intuitive?) but it means that I'm occupied with other things. today at least, it was easier to step away from the thought of b/p and replace it with studying instead. Hopefully when exams start to lick up I don't begin to use it as a coping mechanism for stress
Biggest worry right now is that I've just come out of an aggressive b/p cycle, I don't know if this is the calm after the storm? In a few weeks I feel like I'm going to forget how horrible the cycle is and fall back into it.
Win for today is that I managed to be home alone with out binging which I honestly don't think has happened in over two years. Yay?
hi! I used to struggle with bulimia and other eating disorders when I was really young like 13-16 and Ive still struggled with thoughts and some binge eating and restricting but its no where near as bad as it was when it was controlling my life. The biggest accomplishment is that I haven’t purged in about 6 years so the other day when the thoughts won after a binge and finally turned into action I felt kind of insane. I’m 22 now and feel much wiser, like I know it’s no good for me and I have kind of almost completely accepted and have been loving my body as it is, so it’s so frustrating that this happened. It felt a bit euphoric and comforting purging again after all of these years but I don’t want to go back down that rabbit hole of doing it multiple times a day. I basically just wanted to vent here and see if anybody has tips for not “fully relapsing”?
I’m starting to realize I’ve never really binged I just purged. Like anything I but into my mouth wether it was a salad, granola bar, or “balanced meal”. I just always ended up purging. But I don’t think I’ve ever really binged so do I still have bulimia?
OBVIOUS tmi, forgive me
I recently relapsed for a few weeks, after being recovered for a year (very slightly on and off), but had been bulimic for almost 10 years.
I just used the bathroom, almost diarrhea if not just straight up, and I saw a bit of red in the toilet, wiped, and saw lots of blood. It looked like fresh red blood.
Is this due to my relapse? What could be causing this? Is it a need for concern?
My whole “bowel” wasn’t red but, this of course stuck out to me.
It definitely isn’t due to wiping too hard.
Does anyone have ways to deal with slip-ups during recovery?
A few weeks ago I stopped purging, and I was so motivated to recover, but today I ate a box of cookies because I had a massive craving. I feel so guilty and sad. I’m scared all my progress is ruined and doesn’t count anymore
I'm so fed up with repeating this cycle again and again every day. It's so tiring and genuinely there is no joy in it anymore. Every time I binge I'm constantly think how much I hate what I'm doing, how much I dislike the food I'm eating its so stupid
Anyway, I've seen a lot of people suggest on here that the cycle repeats because its a quick dopamine fix. So I will in fact be trying to quite cold turkey by replacing this stupid fucking 'hobbie' with something else. Will keep this account updated because its easier to scream into the void than actually talk to someone.
Wish me luck
If your disorder started pre 2010's, how did you get the idea and what was it like being bulimic at that time? do you think it was treated differently to how it is today?
She doesn’t give a shit if I don’t eat, she encourages me when I restrict and always gets me low-fat, low-calorie, zero sugar foods and drinks. The second I binge and purge she tells me if I was anorexic I would have control and actually be skinny and pretty and bulimia just makes you fat, bloated and ugly. She also is refusing to bring me to the dentist even though one of my molars fell out the other day and she says my bulimia is too much of a waste of money that she’s not even gonna bring me to get teeth cleanings because I’m just gonna ruin it😂😂😂😂😂
Who experienced weight gain in recovery? And how did you deal with this? I lost weight due to bulimia, a lot of it, so im shitless scared.
Hi guys,
I (27F) guess I just need to talk to someone who will understand. I've never been over-weight, I was always skinny. In the last 3 years, I met my boyfriend and I gained 10kg. Still, I wasn't big, just more on the chubby side. Last october, I decided to lose the weight because I was tired of my clothes not fitting me anymore or suffocating me. I did it the healthy way: started to count calories but without cutting anything, I always made sure to save myselft a piece of cake for desert every night. I adjusted my portions and exercised 3 to 4 times a week. It worked, I dropped the weight (12kg) in about 4 month and I never felt more confident in my body. I received so much compliment from everyone, I finally had a healthy relationship with food.
Then it started. I was terrified of puting the weight back on. Still, I stayed on the right path, no restriction but counting calories and exercising. In the past 2/3 weeks now I became obsessed with food. I was able to work from home for the last 2 weeks and I don't know why it ended up with me binging everything in our house. I couldn't help it. I don’t know where it came from. Sure there's stress from work, but aside from that, I've never been happier in my personnal life. It's not even like I was restricting myself, I always have one nice desert per day that satisfied me plenty.
And now I cannot stop. Even when I don't want to, I'm binging and purging. I've done it once a day for a week now. And aside from the fact that I'm concerned for my health, I'm panicking because no matter how hard I try I cannot fully purge and I feel like the more I do it the more my body is resisting it and refuses to vomit. So then I am stuck with the anxiety of not being able to purge the crazy amount of calories I've just ingested. So I try to exercise but I still feel so full and fat after that... I just wish to go back to how things were a few weeks ago, I really don't know what happened...
If anyone can relate please let me know
TW:ed
i can't help having some sort of a hierarchy in my mind and it goes like this:
1 (the best) Anorexia
2 (meh) bulimia
3 (absolute worst) BED
i feel like such a lowlife for being bulimic, i kind of idolize anorexia at this point,it's like a cult where the god is self control,also,did Buddhist monks have anorexia?i mean they used to starve themselves,i really admire them for that,i feel like food is evil,like there's some sort of conspiracy and pro food propaganda everywhere,i still fall for it sometimes,but when i get lucky enough to not eat for a day or two,i reach flow state,it feels euphoric,i can't explain it but i feel so divine
sorry if this is triggering ,i dont know how to fix it