u/External_Beginning55

Hi guys,

I’m 26 years old and in a few months I’ll become a doctor , I’m currently finishing medical school.
I’m writing here because I’ve been struggling with something since childhood: I stutter.

Up until recently, stuttering never really stopped me from living my life. I’ve always had good relationships and dating experiences, I’ve always studied hard, and overall I’m proud of the path I’ve taken so far. I’m about to finish med school and I aspire to become a neurosurgeon.

I’ve stuttered for as long as I can remember, but before my father passed away a year ago, I had learned to live with it fairly well. My stutter could be noticeable, but I had reached a point where I genuinely didn’t care much about it and paradoxically, when I stopped caring, I almost stopped stuttering.

Things changed when my father became ill. The stress of exams, lack of sleep, grief, the pressure of graduating soon, and the anxiety about my future made me much more nervous and, for some reason, much more sensitive to other people’s judgment.

Now I interact with many more people in professional settings, and that has made things harder. I stutter much more than before, and I constantly overthink how people perceive me when I speak. Sometimes people make strange facial expressions, and when I feel that they notice my stutter, I start thinking they unconsciously value my words less because of the way I speak.

The frustrating part is that I actually have many things I’d like to say, but often I hold back because I’m afraid of being judged. When I get anxious, I become confused, lose my train of thought, and sometimes end up saying things that don’t even make sense. Very often, when a word doesn’t come out, I pretend I forgot what I wanted to say just to avoid getting stuck , it has become a coping mechanism.

One episode in particular affected me a lot: while I was speaking during dinner, I noticed someone quietly laughing. Maybe it wasn’t even malicious, but it hurt me deeply. Since then, I’ve become hyperaware of how I speak. I know my worth as a person, and being judged for something like this makes me feel terrible. Because of that, I often shut down socially. In groups where I don’t know people well, I tend to stay quiet or avoid participating in conversations because I’m afraid of embarrassing myself.

I wanted to ask for advice from people who have gone through something similar, especially because soon I’ll have to start presenting at medical conferences, and the idea honestly gives me a lot of anxiety.

Thank you!

Hi guys,

I’m 26 years old and in a few months I’ll become a doctor , I’m currently finishing medical school.
I’m writing here because I’ve been struggling with something since childhood: I stutter.

Up until recently, stuttering never really stopped me from living my life. I’ve always had good relationships and dating experiences, I’ve always studied hard, and overall I’m proud of the path I’ve taken so far. I’m about to finish med school and I aspire to become a neurosurgeon.

I’ve stuttered for as long as I can remember, but before my father passed away a year ago, I had learned to live with it fairly well. My stutter could be noticeable, but I had reached a point where I genuinely didn’t care much about it and paradoxically, when I stopped caring, I almost stopped stuttering.

Things changed when my father became ill. The stress of exams, lack of sleep, grief, the pressure of graduating soon, and the anxiety about my future made me much more nervous and, for some reason, much more sensitive to other people’s judgment.

Now I interact with many more people in professional settings, and that has made things harder. I stutter much more than before, and I constantly overthink how people perceive me when I speak. Sometimes people make strange facial expressions, and when I feel that they notice my stutter, I start thinking they unconsciously value my words less because of the way I speak.

The frustrating part is that I actually have many things I’d like to say, but often I hold back because I’m afraid of being judged. When I get anxious, I become confused, lose my train of thought, and sometimes end up saying things that don’t even make sense. Very often, when a word doesn’t come out, I pretend I forgot what I wanted to say just to avoid getting stuck it has become a coping mechanism.

One episode in particular affected me a lot: while I was speaking during dinner, I noticed someone quietly laughing. Maybe it wasn’t even malicious, but it hurt me deeply. Since then, I’ve become hyperaware of how I speak. I know my worth as a person, and being judged for something like this makes me feel terrible. Because of that, I often shut down socially. In groups where I don’t know people well, I tend to stay quiet or avoid participating in conversations because I’m afraid of embarrassing myself.

I wanted to ask for advice from people who have gone through something similar, especially because soon I’ll have to start presenting at medical conferences, and the idea honestly gives me a lot of anxiety.

Thank you!