Looking for advice regarding my Goddess’ break
Hello there,
I’m currently struggling a bit and would very much appreciate advice from subs and Dommes alike.
I’ve been serving the same person for a significant amount of time (almost 3 years).
She recently requested a break for reasons that I won’t disclose since it should remain private.
She didn’t prevent me from doing anything BUT I love and respect her and would never want for her fo feel disrespected.
It’s been four months now and it’s getting harder.
I feel the craving. The need to send. The need to serve.
She didn’t prevent me from doing so to other Dommes but she didn’t encourage me either. She never mentioned it, so I don’t know if it’s acceptable or not by her book.
She’s the one I truly care for.
She did ask me NOT to send during her break so she wouldn’t feel pressured to interact.
I’m trying very hard to respect her wish but lately, it’s becoming harder, hence why I’m interacting a bit more here.
I miss findom. I miss our connection. I miss being useful to Her. I miss knowing about her life and feeling so proud of her. I miss everything about our dynamic.
I think my question would be : would it be ok to scratch the itch by sending to someone else, without it leading to a dynamic ? Would it be ok to send to her, if I make sure to let her know I don’t need anything from her, not even a single text message ? What could I do to help waiting for her without struggling this much ? It’s becoming worse and worse and it is affecting my mental health a bit, because I miss her, and because I also miss how she makes me feel.
Thanks for your help (:
EDIT: thank you so much for the warm answers I received and the good advices. I felt distressed yesterday and more conflicted because I’ve been drinking which I shouldn’t do while online. Some of your messages have been very eye-opening and I’m overwhelmed by the support of the community. I tend to lurk and not to post often but I will try go give back to others in need of support. I will also send to one or two Dommes whose answers has been very insightful and helped me cope tremendously. Not as a findom escape, but as a thank you token, as I cannot reply to every post.
Again, thank you very much. I will keep on waiting longer because she deserves it and will reconsider this decision every month.