I don't want to be a grown up I hate
TW:suicide
I hate being a grown not only is it because it's difficult for me to move in a world meet for grown ups but also I have autism ADHD DID GAD PTSD with derealization and depersonalization so half the time am not even conscious in my life and my parents don't understand/don't help with these either they usually make it worse (am 16)
I just want to be 3-7 again I just want to wear diapers use a pacifier and a bottle sleep in a crib etc I just want to be little again
But nooooooo
I have to live in a adult would in a adult body doing adult things I just want to kill myself ever since I was 5 I have felt like I was to old and then when I was 12 well am not going to get into that (that's when I got DID and PTSD) made 2 suicide attempts then when I was 15 I finally got real friends (I didn't really have real friends until then probably on account of my autism and ADHD) but then life had to screw me over again and my ex spread lies and they all left me
Witch leaves me here today wrong body friendless and suicidal god what a rollercoaster this is been but I really want to get off it now
Tl:dr: I want to be 3-7 am suicidal and friendless