Daughter wanted to boy mode for a weekend with a relative. Some of us messed up and used her current name instead of her boy name
Not sure if I am asking for advice or just processing. I have a relative who came to visit. She’s not great about LGBTQ issues, but my kids love her anyway. My daughter isn’t ready to come out to her. So she said she’d just boy mode it and suggested we just call her “Lyle” instead of her current “Lily.”
Well, a few of the people in my household flubbed it. We are so used to saying Lily that someone would say, “Oh I was telling Lily, uh, I mean Lyle that dinner is ready,” etc.
Anyway, eventually the family member asked “Do you guys sometimes call Lyle Lily?” I said yes, and the family member didn’t ask anything else, and we changed the subject.
Lily just says “oh well.” But the whole thing just feels unsettling. On the one hand, it’s a decent soft launch for the eventual coming out. On the other, it feels ironic and odd that we screwed up by NOT consistently using the dead name.
I don’t know. Family member was visiting because she is going through a tough time, and Lily didn’t want to open up a new conversation about being trans in the middle of it. So…mission accomplished? Maybe it was a terrible idea to think boy mode would work. I’m not sure what the lesson is here.