r/cisparenttranskid

My daughter (A)  is 8 and has identified as female since before her third birthday. It is important to disclose that she also has ADHD and Autism, which are contributing factors to her social anxiety. Her father went crazy when he found out that I was supporting her choice to wear “girl clothes” and we ended up getting a restraining order against him, so needless to say the transition has been rough for her. A is stealth, the only people in our current life who know she is trans are family and a few very close friends of mine, none of A’s friends know and she absolutely refuses to allow anyone else to know. It’s actually quite distressing at times for her. 

A few weeks ago my sister’s child (12) (what do you call your niece who is now nonbinary?) came out as nonbinary and we have all been adjusting to they/them pronouns. They went to a pride event with us and wore their nonbinary flag pin and my daughter was in awe. To be clear A has always been enamored by her older cousin and copies a lot of what they do. Tonight A told me that she “wants “ to be nonbinary because she feels that people are more likely to accept that over her being transgender. I explained that being nonbinary is not something you choose, it’s who you are, just like a transgender person. She then said “I am NOT transgender anymore mom, I am nonbinary and I want to tell my friends and I want you to buy me a nonbinary pin, like cousin.” I know she is doing this for two reasons, one to be like her cousin and two because cousin makes it look so easy to be out and proud. A is always terrified she will be outed mistakenly so this feels like a fix to her problem. She is not nonbinary, I know that deep within my soul.

What do I do? When she sets her mind on something she is unable to see any other perspective and will consider anything I say as judgmental or unsupportive. But I cannot let her make this decision like that. Her birthday party is tomorrow and she wants to tell people, thankfully only family members are coming. 

hey yall, i'd recommend reading my previous post on here before this one, just because there's a lot of information which i just don't have the energy to retype again. https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/s/KsMlRzubXA

me and my family have moved houses, and i'm supposed to be happy. i am, and i want this to be the next new chapter of my life. but i can't be at peace knowing that my mum still doesn't believe that i'm trans. i just can't handle it anymore. i want to start this new life on a high note but i also dont want to start it whilst im still living as this shell of a person. i want to regain my spark back, but how can i do that when my own mother refuses to believe that i really am trans? i've been out for 5 years. is there any way i can 'win her over'? we've already had quite a rocky relationship, but, she's been through a lot, and i still love and care about her, which is why i can't just cut her off like i did with my dad.

One week ago, my adult child (age 23) told me he is Trans. I am still using his former pronouns as he has not changed them yet, but that change is coming soon. I completely support my child and love him unconditionally. I have acknowledged his courage and pledged that my husband (his stepdad) and I will support him in any way possible. We have acknowledged his understanding of himself and respect his right to self discovery and determination.

Im dealing with a lot of feelings and must do so privately out of respect for my child's position and privacy. I'm in no way disappointed or grieving in a way that some people might think one would in this situation. I'm choosing to see this as an opportunity for a unique parenting experience and a chance to know my child in ways other parents can never experience.

But there is still grief. I just feel like a total idiot. I never knew I was raising my child as the wrong gender. I thought I was a fairly good mom for the most part, but how many times did I inflict harm or trauma on my child just because of the choices I made assuming he was a boy? I feel the need to acknowledge and apologize for some of that to my child but also do not want to burden him with what I am processing when I know he has so much of his own weight to carry. I just have to carry these feelings alone for now.

I missed out on the experience of raising my child as my daughter. Im sure we can recreate some experiences as time goes on... but I wish I could have known so that I could get him the care he needed sooner.

Im spending a lot of time worrying about my child's safety as they enter transition. I worry about cruelty and how some family members may react as they are told. Ive already decided that I have no space for intolerance and will leave anyone behind who is unsupportive or unwilling to try to learn.

I just want to add that im feeling a little gross referring to my child with he/him pronouns when my child is most likely my daughter. But I have promised my child that I will take direction from him as he moves through transitioning. As has always been the case, I love watching my child blossom into the person he was always meant to be.

Are there any other parents out there who relate to these feelings when their child came out to them?

I am going to share my thoughts around trying to decide whether to allow our 16-year-old to go on testosterone. Please tell me if I am missing something.

He has been telling us that he is a boy since around the age of 12, following the onset of puberty. Prior to that he was a super feminine child, in terms of interests, clothes, friends, etc. The polar opposite of a tomboy. He is also neurodivergent and has had POTS and chronic fatigue for almost as long, to the point of being largely house-bound during the last 2 years. We have been socially affirming from the start and have changed his name legally. The whole family is supportive.

What gives me pause is that to this day there is absolutely nothing masculine about this kid, other than his short hair and lack of typical feminine clothing. But in the past 6 months the t-shirts that he has asked to buy have been pink and cutesy. He is into ankle boots with heels - sparkly, glittery things. He is into Labubus and My Little Pony figures. He has no typical male interests whatsoever.

He hates his body since puberty. He hates his breasts, and he hates menstruating. (He binds responsibly and is on continuous birth control to stop periods.) He also says that he is asexual and is repulsed by any mention of sex or seeing a naked body. I do not have reason to believe that he was sexually molested in any way, and I have asked many times.

It does seem to me that he is trying to not be considered a girl more than to be a guy, although, to be fair, he says he wants more body and facial hair, and a deep voice.

I know that gender identity and gender presentation do not have to go hand-in-hand, but this feels like 180 opposites.

On the one hand, I think of how feminine this kid was, and still is, and I think we should ask him to wait longer, to mature, to learn about himself, to focus on his health, so that he can interact with the world and figure out whether he really wants to exist as a man. Giving a biologically female body testosterone is not a trivial matter.

On the other hand, there are two main possibilities: He truly will be happier as a man, in which case we should move forward with the hormonal transition as soon as possible. The other possibility is that he will change his mind sometime in the future. But, even in that case, isn't it best to go ahead with the testosterone now, so he can get to the "other side"?

I do not believe that he is going to "give up" on this without experiencing it for himself.

There is also a slight chance that testosterone might help with some of his physical issues.

I think you can tell that I am leaning more towards HRT now rather than later. But I am afraid of making the wrong decision, and the primary thing that gives me pause is his total non-masculine-ness.

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

Hey y'all. My daughter came out to me about a year ago. So far everything's as smooth as we could want, but I like to be prepared for things. She is probably starting E in the fall, and she's excited for most of it, except for the possible loss of strength. Are there any things people have experienced that don't show up in pamphlets, blogs and books that could be impactful - that I, as a father should know about?

Thanks in advance

Hi! I don't want to infodump, but I wanted to ask something. At what point to I give up on my relationship with my immediate family? I know that only I and I alone can make that decision, but some advice would help.

I'm 20 (mtf, currently using they/them prounouns, have been out for 4 months) and things have just been a shitshow. I wanted autonomy over anything social or medical and they said if I wasn't going to abide by their plan/rules (no expression/change, no doing anything until i graduate college, etc.), then I was on my own. I have a good job and am not worried about that, and I have an apartment already. I'm also working on receiving federal loans for my last 2 years of college.

To stay on topic, they've just been incredibly mean and bigoted as hell. I know that's a bit of an overused term, but it's accurate. It's been absolute hell. All wrapped in a blanket of 'love', even if I know that they really mean that (somehow, it's hard to believe that as time goes on). Any thoughts? I can explain further if anyone has specific questions about my situation. TYIA!

My son turned 18 last December, graduated in May and moves away to college in August. He will be doing so having had a legal name change, nearly 3 years on HRT and most recently (a few days ago), top surgery. It was a bit of a rollercoaster as we have marketplace insurance which will not apply, had to come up with the money and, after initially not getting medical clearance, completely rework the trip. He is with my wife at a hotel in San Francisco recovering. Sad I couldn't be there with him but part of the trip rework resulted in schedule conflicts.

My kiddo (9) just got back from overnight camp and let me know they introduced themselves using they/them pronouns. I asked them how they were feeling in their body+brain as far as their gender, and they said they're feeling nonbinary. I think this could be a really great time for them to explore gender and gender expression and figure out what it all means to them personally - my husband and I want to be 100% supportive. This is all pretty new to both of us and we want to make sure we're doing it correctly. Any parents of trans/nonbinary kids on here able to drop any advice?

If it's important - my kid is best friends with my little sister, who is 1 year older. She is also crazy supportive, as are my parents who are huge part of our lives. I coparent my child with my ex, who is their dad. He is pretty conservative and can be really dismissive. I expressed to my child that we should wait before saying anything to their dad.

My 16 year old son is asking to start hormone therapy. Is there anyone who is aware of Pennsylvania based medical providers that do hormone therapy (not puberty blockers) on kids under 18 with parental consent? I’ve spoke with different LGBTQ groups in my area and the ones they are familiar with no longer treat under 19. I’ve also talked with planned parenthood and they are 18+. Thank you

My elderly mom has dementia and her birthday is today. She doesn't know about my daughter but she's mostly deaf and hasn't really picked up on the (moderate) physical changes my daughter has made. We are bringing a birthday cake to her facility today, and I just learned that 2 old family friends will be joining us. I just messaged them about my daughter so she doesn't have to be dead-named, and I have no idea how they will respond. They have always been kind, and I hope that continues. Wish us luck!

I’m a 15-year-old trans guy, and I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.

I know my mom loves me. I know she’s scared. I know having a trans child probably isn’t what she expected, and I know she’s worried about how difficult my life could be.

But I’m getting to a point where I feel like her grief has become my responsibility, and I don’t think that’s fair.

For years, I’ve tried to explain who I am. I told her years ago that I didn’t feel like a girl, and over the last couple of years we’ve had more conversations until I eventually came out as a trans guy. Despite that, she recently told me there were “no signs” and that she thinks it’s “just a phase.” Hearing that honestly felt like everything I’d spent years trying to explain about myself had just been dismissed.

The hardest part isn’t even that she doesn’t understand. It’s how she talks to me.

She’ll ask me, “Why can’t you just be a masc lesbian?” “Why can’t you just wear a dress?” or “Why can’t you just ‘tone it down’?” She doesn’t say those things in a way that feels curious. To me, they come across as frustrated, desperate, and condescending, like she’s pleading with me to become somebody else instead of trying to understand the person I actually am.

One thing she cried about over and over was prom dresses. She talked about shopping for prom dresses together, seeing me get married as her daughter, and all of these traditionally femme moments she imagined having. I completely understand that parents can grieve expectations. I really do.

What hurts is feeling like I’m expected to carry that grief. It feels like I’m guilty because I didn’t become the person she imagined.

Then there are the things she has actually said to me.

She looked at me and YELLED, “My daughter is DEAD!! I hope you realize that.”

She laughed at my facial hair and told me I looked “disgusting.” ( I have pcos/pmos and I grow more prominent facial hair)

When I put on my binder for the first time, she sighed and looked disappointed instead of happy that I finally felt a tiny bit more comfortable in my own body.

She also asked me who would ever want to date me looking the way I do and said no cis guy would want me because I don’t have “the parts” they would want.

I just think that is so intrusive to say. All of this makes my blood BOIL.

She also says she doesn’t want me to struggle because trans people face discrimination. I believe that fear is genuine. But it feels like the answer she’s come to is that I should change instead of accepting that this is who I am.

I’ve spent so much time trying to help her understand. I’ve explained what being trans means, answered her questions, and explained respectful terminology. She often falls back on very traditional language, and she’s referred to trans men and trans women as “it.” I’ve explained why that language is wrong, but it still ALWAYS comes up.

One thing I’m really struggling with is that I don’t want to think of my own mom as bigoted. I love her, and I know she loves me.

But sometimes the things she says don’t just feel like confusion. They feel like the same things I’ve heard from openly anti-trans BIGOTS. I don’t know if it’s fair to call her one, and I don’t really want to (wouldn’t be suprised if yall think she is) I just know that some of the things she says and the way she says them feel that way to me.

Another piece of context is my dad. He’s extremely anti-trans and believes being trans is a cult. My mom has told me she feels caught in the middle between me and him. I understand that’s an incredibly difficult position to be in.

At the same time, it often feels like trying not to upset him has turned into asking me to change instead.

She also says she doesn’t want me to experience discrimination. The thing is… I already have. I’ve been bullied for being neurodivergent. I’ve been bullied for passing as a cis boy before puberty. I’ve been called transphobic slurs for YEARS. I’ve learned that people who want to bully you usually don’t need much of a reason. I’ve reported it, however my school is very damn silent abt it… I’m literally in the most conservative area in my state.

What I need from my mom isn’t for her to convince me to become someone else because the world can be cruel.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? If youve delt with smth similar how did you navigate it? If you’re a parent who struggled when your child came out but eventually came around, what helped you get there?

I really do want to understand both sides. Right now, though, I mostly just feel angry. I feel so voiceless.

Something to add: I have told her as well the quote of wouldn’t you rather have a happy trans son than a closeted “girl” that attempted twice in 2020.. she didn’t say anything…

Edit: my dad is a cop and my mom is a nurse if that makes it even more insane. I don’t unfortunately have access to therapy. :(

I spend so much time studying trans literature and science(the biology component) I think it’s crazy that I know more abt that than my parents but idk. I mean I am a collegiate performing student but idk

Edit again lol I have safe adults at my school so I hold my school very close to me :) but state legislatures make it very difficult but they still love and support me for who I am

Oh yeah I’m also in choir and color guard

LAST edit i swear: I LOVE YALL ALL SM IVE NEVER GOT SUPPORT LIKE THIS BEFORE THANK YOU ALL SM!!!!!!

i'm 19 and i've been out for 6 years now socially, 10 months ago yesterday i started t and my name change went through. yay for my medical transition ! i pass 100% of the time to strangers. since coming out my family has been distant and basically treated me like an "other".

any time i speak about my transition or i correct someone on my pronouns, i get yelled at and blamed and told im a horrible person essentially. a few weeks ago my grandparents came down for my little brothers graduation (we live in florida, they live in wisconsin) and the whole time my grandmother was calling me she and even called me and my fiancé (also ftm) "girls". after she left i shot her a text telling her im not mad but it was really upsetting to hear her say things like that and it hurt my feelings. my grandmother proceeded to tell me she's pissed at me and wants to cut all communication with me because i'm unreasonable and pushing an agenda. after i told my mother, my mother told me i was lying and over exaggerating until i sent her screenshots of our conversation, and my mom never said she was sorry for calling me a liar and never said my grandmother was in the wrong. my mom continued to blame me because "i over explained" or "i came off passive aggressive" or "i always have to have the last word" or something like that. it has to be my fault for some reason, even though i told my grandmother i understand it can be difficult and im not angry at all with her.

my mom wants all of us to go up north to visit my grandparents and i said no, not until my grandmother speaks to me directly. my mom basically said once again that im being dramatic and my grandmother did nothing wrong. the issue is my entire family prides themselves in being woke and pro-lgbt and everything, just not when it comes to me. my mom also has always had a hard time with my transition and only stopped using my deadname about 3 years ago, but still refuses to call me "he". we got into an argument a few weeks ago due to her saying she doesn't need to ever call me "he" if she doesn't want to because it's not up to me and once again brought up me "pushing my agenda". i told her she sounded like a conservative and she shut up fast, but it stuck with me.

i have moved out and i live in arizona for school, i only come home for breaks. im genuinely not sure how i can combat this or what to do, as i rely on my family for parts of my finances for school and i cant go no contact because of it.

edit: id like to add that im 99% financially independent, but that 1% of the time that i absolutely need help my family will step in. i have multiple jobs and pay for school with grants, loans, scholarships, and my own hard earned money. i try my hardest to communicate with my grandparents as little as possible, other than when i absolutely need to.

Son A (26) became born again a few years ago and has been growing more and more rigid. We do not have a religious family. I have church trauma and won’t go back.

Son B (23) came out as trans 2 years ago.

Son A has been away overseas for a year on a mission trip and is now home for a month before he goes back. Before he left, Son B asked him to use his name and not his dead name, and to use the proper pronouns. Son A said he wouldn’t ever introduce Son B as his brother because “that would be lying”. Son B is devastated his brother feels this way, of course.

They have had no contact for a year. In planning his trip home Son A has been asking to communicate with Son B, and asked to have dinner together. Son B refused because he said he needs an apology first and an agreement Son B will respect him.

These messages have all gone through me and it’s awful. Today I told them to talk to each other and not me as a messenger.

I am so torn up that Son A has become this way because it’s not how we raised him at all. I can’t handle that he would choose religion over his own family.

Son A has a new fiancé and she is here visiting. We’ve never met her before; they met on the mission. He wants us all to be together but no one is interested in group things because it’s so tense and awful. There are two other siblings who are both lesbian. I am protecting Son B and his privacy in our home. He lives with me and his partner is here for the summer.

Can anyone offer advice of how to parent honestly, fairly, and sanely in this situation? They’re adults, but they’re young and they look to me for guidance and support.

Their dad and I are divorced and 3/4 have no relationship with him.

Thank you for reading this far and sorry it’s so long.

Hi all! I'm wondering if anyone has kids who have come out as non-binary at a very young age. My kid is 3.5, and lately has expressed that they are non-binary. They've specifically said they were non-binary once when asked their gender, and yesterday while reading a book about gender, they told me that they prefer they/them pronouns.

Some background on my kid: they were assigned male at birth, but we haven't pushed any gender norms on them beyond using gendered pronouns. We purposefully gave them a non-gendered name, that way their name wouldn't cause any kind of dysphoria. Both of their preschool teachers (as well as the program director) are non-binary, so they have more understanding of what it means to be enby than many other children their age. While they have some typical "boy" interests (mostly around vehicles), they are otherwise not super cis presenting. Their favorite colors are pink and purple, they enjoy wearing nail polish, they sometimes wear skirts/dresses, and they prefer to keep their hair long.

My husband and I are both cis, but neither of us are super gender conforming. On my side of the family, there's a good deal of both neurodivergence and connective tissue issues- I know that people who are ND and hypermobile are much more likely to be gender queer. I personally am hypermobile and am diagnosed with ADHD, so there's a decent chance that my kid will eventually be diagnosed with one or both of those.

My kid's grandparents may not be super understanding about them exploring their gender. I think my in-laws will get past it easier than my parents will, but I know my dad in particular is going to think that I'm "forcing" this on them. For now, I plan on telling my dad that we're going to be using they/he pronouns for my kid, as they haven't specifically told me that they don't like he/him pronouns. Does this sound like a good way to transition my dad into being more accepting? What else would you recommend? My dad has said that he would still love and support any of his grandkids if they were trans or enby, but I don't think he understands that kids can know their gender this young.

Also, if anyone has any book recommendations we would definitely be on board! We just got a copy of "Being You: A First Conversation About Gender", which led to my kid telling me that they prefer they/them pronouns. I also realize that they haven't given me a ton of direction on their gender yet- we plan on just taking it day by day and seeing where things go. As far as parenting goes, we aren't planning on changing anything beyond the pronouns we use for our kiddo. My kid's nanny actually has a former nanny kid who came out as trans when they were around my kid's age, so luckily she's very well versed in this.

A few days ago my almost 10-year-old kiddo (AFAB) asked me for a private talk, and shared that she - now he - thinks he might be trans. This is not entirely surprising, as he has been what one would consider a "tomboy" for years, we've struggled to find clothes that he feels comfortable in (certainly nothing feminine), and went through about a 2 year phase around age 4/5 where he asked to have short hair, and loved Spider-Man. Then when first grade came around, he suddenly asked to shop for girl clothes, seemingly due to concerns about social perceptions and being seen as different. I've always lightly mentioned that he can shop from any section, not just the girl section, and he is pretty well versed in gender expression and identity stuff.

We live in a suburban area in a blue county in a purple state, where most of our friends vote blue but overall, it's a pretty traditional area in terms of family structures. We used to live in one of the bluest cities in one of the bluest states, and I suspect that this would have started to come to the surface earlier if we had not moved away when he was 4.

He has been going through pretty deep anxiety for a few years, and it got specifically bad enough last fall that we ended up changing schools, doing a full neuropsych evaluation, getting a therapist, and trying meds. The school change was the biggest game changer, and after this spring in the new school, his confidence has increased to an extent. Socially, he was still somewhat struggling to find his way by the end of the school year, unable to fully relate to any of the girls (lipgloss and bras and "omg you talked to a boy you must have a crush on him" vibes) or the boys (sports sports sports, but all have been kind to my kiddo -- who is unfortunately not sporty).

My husband and I are cis and straight, but supportive of both of our kids (we have a younger daughter as well), no matter what. My trans kiddo asked me for a haircut, which we did right away. That alone was a huge relief, as he had insisted on keeping it long (so "no one would think I'm a boy")... but also hated brushing it and wouldn't let me touch it. So it was always a mess, which didn't help things socially. The next day we went shopping and he happily picked out a bunch of stuff from the boy sections of several stores at the mall. He then asked to go change in the mall bathroom, which we did, and just like that, this kid was transformed. I'm talking bubbly, skipping, excited, happy. NOT the anxious kiddo I've been struggling to keep afloat this past year.

All of it makes so much sense, and I'm emotional (in a good way) about how much lighter my kid seems to feel, and how much more comfortable in his skin. I think this is the missing puzzle piece in terms of his emotional well-being and I'm actually really psyched about seeing him grow and hopefully blossom from here.

With that said, I had never given much thought to what this would mean for us as parents. Suddenly finding ourselves parents of a trans kid, and thinking about all that this might mean for our kids, his future, health questions, social acceptance, bathrooms, etc etc etc is.... a lot. I'm thrilled to see my kid floating around so happy. And kind of terrified for all the stuff that he, and we, will have to navigate.

Also, getting used to the pronouns, calling him my son, saying I have a boy and a girl instead of two girls, and even just addressing the kids at the same time (I have a habit of calling out "girls, time to go!" etc) is not easy. I have plenty of queer friends, colleagues who have transitioned while we were working together, and have even helped with the logistics of an employee's legal sex change (I do HR), and I've never had an issue or concern with respecting someone's pronouns. But somehow, having 10 years of using she/her pronouns for this person who I literally brought into this world, is making it really challenging to shift my language.

I'd love any advice, tips, or words of encouragement for this well intentioned supportive mama on day 4 after my kiddo came out! It's all still a little surreal. 🫶🏼

Hi all,

I have an 8yo child who has expressed that they want to identify as they/them and sometimes she/they. Recently they’ve been struggling with other kids mocking/shaming them when they go into the bathroom for not “looking like” a boy or a girl. Comments like, “are you sure you should be in here” and such. They also dont want to wear swimsuits at summer camp because they’re worried about being misgendered in their suit. I’ll also note they struggle with anxiety which we’ve been guiding them through since kindergarten.

Any thoughts or perspectives would be greatly appreciated. I’m dad by the way. Thank you!

Hi to everyone reading, I am AMAB MtF 24 planning on coming out to my Mum so I can properly get my journey started without having to worry about hiding anything, as it won't feel right not telling her anything before I start it's not the kind of relationship we have. Since it's about my Mum I figured this would be the best place to talk about something like this.

I am in a safe environment I know I won't be getting kicked out or disowned or anything like that and I know that she isn't gonna hate me for coming out.

One of my big issues is being too scared to actually do it really. I'm always seeing how happy she is for me to be her son, she is Muslim I don't think that's much of a concern knowing her but the concern is still there. She's very much a "blue is for boys pink is for girls no mixing it up" type of person (not in a phobic way though) and I feel like this is a step or two beyond that, but most of all though, because her and my little sister are all the family I have left that I can fully trust the last thing I want is to lose her too so I always get too scared to go through with anything.

The other main issue is not really knowing how to go about it since I've never really had to make such a life changing announcement like this before, on top of not really knowing how to word anything to begin with that's something I've always struggled with.

So to any Parents that may reading this, how should I do this? How would you feel most comfortable being told something like this? Is there a limit of what I should or shouldn't bring up?

Thanks for reading, sorry if any of this is worded badly this is a first for me.

Just dropped my little guy off at sleep away camp. The director was there to meet us and make sure that our kid was comfortable. Director asked our kid what name and pronouns to use and IMMEDIATELY fixed it in their system.

They were so welcoming and kind I could cry.

My parents made it extremely clear they are unsupportive of my transition. They have told me I am hurting them and everyone that truly loves me. My father told me he doesn’t believe I care about him at all, that I’m not capable of love like he is, and that I’m literally insane. When I begin T, I probably won’t have a job with him anymore.

This began with them being uncomfortable with me wearing mascara on my mustache when I go to work (this is not the job I have with my dad, I have two jobs) and ended with them learning that I am no longer a Christian. This is a major problem for them, and I will be excluded from the church I was raised in (oooh nooo).

I don’t feel much of anything if I’m being honest. I’m a little relieved I suppose, but logically I understand I’m not in the best of circumstances when it comes to being supported. I am supposed to have some kind of conversations with them this upcoming week, I do not know what these will entail.

I suppose I come to ask you what next steps I need to take. Is this situation worth spending a few days away from home over? I’m highly considering packing a bag and staying with my bsf for a week. I have plans to move out in 6 months, I’m not sure I can move up the timeline. Any advice would be appreciated.

My 16yo came out as trans (MTF) in April. We have to travel to another state for care, and we went to our first appointment last week. HRT is covered by my insurance, but I’m not sure how to get ready to take that step. I was little surprised it was available, given how recent these gender questioning thoughts have been (around 6 months) and her refusal to go to therapy. I’m more comfortable with puberty blockers, and I was quoted 6k for that treatment, not covered. It’s a stretch but I can do it. That is handled by a different clinic, though, and it has a several months long waitlist to get in.

Her main interest is preventing any more body hair growth. She has some lip fuzz but that’s it, and she wants to keep from getting any more. She’s also already requested electrolysis ($$$). She has grown her hair out and started wearing skirts, but no other interest in stereotypical girly stuff like makeup. That may be more due to her AuDHD though.

I’m super supportive, I promise. I just worry about consenting to permanent treatment quite yet, wanting to let things settle for a bit. But I know the clock is ticking. How do I go about making life altering decisions with risks like infertility for my child? She is not interested in banking sperm. She wants to be a parent someday but doesn’t care if it is a genetic relation. I would just really appreciate any advice from others who have walked this path.