u/Extreme_Compote_246

Recently had an abortion at 4 weeks 5 days pregnant (procedure). I have two children, 4.5 and 10 months old, and my husband and I mutually decided that we could not be the best parents to our children if we had another at this time. I feel guilty because we could have done this, but chose not to. I'm mad at myself and feel regretful for not just the abortion but also getting pregnant. I guess I'm just looking for support from people who have been in similar situations. Do these intense feelings subside, will I stop replaying the procedure over and over in my head? I want to be present for my kids, but I feel almost a pang of sadness when I look at them; it is the strangest feeling.