how would you approach convos about sex frequency/quality?
My partner and I have been together for almost 9 years, married for 2, LDR for 6 years.
We have a great life together apart from our bedroom. I've tried approaching the conversation before, it usually goes something like: I make a suggestion, e.g. lets schedule sex; lets consider a pleasure workshop; which is usually met with "Do you think we have a problem?" and I say "no, I just think we could benefit from this" she says "I dont think we need to do that" - cue topic change
I dont want to hurt her by making her feel like I am upset, and I'm not upset, I think I just value intimacy a bit more than she does, which I hope I can overcome.
For more context, shes high anxiety, so am I. We have a healthy balance of household work/ work work. We have a decent amount of free time still, no kids. We have our independent lives. not sure what else to add lol (i swear im not a bad partner lol)
My take on this is that I need to learn to be more vocal/ outward with my needs, but Im curious how others would approach this with their partner? I dont want to create pressure, I think that will just lead to longer dry spells, but I dont want to just keeping hoping for more.