u/Extreme_O

It’s just something I see all the time and have experienced it before. My little sister is dealing with this. Her best friend is ignoring everyone for her boyfriend. She’s gutted.

I never fully understood it.

The way I see it is: Why would you dump the people that don’t need to sleep with you to like you or care about you?

I could never imagine wanting my significant other to lose her friends or drop everything for me. But then again I’m autistic and I like balance and personal space.

Why is this the norm?

We’ve been friends for about 3 years now and I adore the hell out of this girl. No romantic/sexual feelings but she’s just someone I get along with super well and we have a lot of the same interests/same humor. Everything is awesome if we’re together in person.

But my god is she awful at communication. She’s very much “out of sight out of mind” which I get but she’s always leaving me hanging. I can ask a time sensitive question and she won’t return a phone call or text in time. I needed her information for something she asked me to do for her and couldn’t get ahold of her. She didn’t respond until the next day when there was nothing I could do about it anymore.

I also want to add that she’s not a busy person and spends a ton of time scrolling on her phone. She herself admits she doesn’t have a life and bed-rots most of the time unless she’s at work. And I don’t try to contact her when she’s at work. I don’t call or text that often, maybe a couple of times a week.

So I’m just at a loss. I haven’t talked her that much about it besides teasing her. But I do remember someone getting pissed at her for it and she told me and one of our other friends how she hates when people take it personally.

I just end up feeling frustrated. And I have some pretty cool news that I wish I could share with her right now but I know she’s not going to respond. So I’d probably have to wait a week until I see her in person. Then I think… why bother? I get caught between thinking it’s one-sided and wondering if it’s just some issue she has.

AIO for wanting to just drop the friendship or at least demote her to an acquaintance and stop putting in any effort whatsoever?