Why cant I enter SATS for this? (whole story)
Hello everyone I hope you can help me work out my extremely awkward situation. Its a bit long but bear with me.
I have had a small thing for an Master’s classmate in uni since 2019 (pre covid). Let’s call her A. After the lockdown ended in 2022 I decided to ask her out and we met a few times. After a few times she persisted on “I dont like you” but I also peristed in my inner state “she is bs-ing” (bcs we both international students - even to this day I dont believe a single word of those - and this was before I found Neville).
Somehow things ended up circling to the same points neither me giving up neither her putting much effort behind her words. I graduate and go back to my country. She graduates in 2025 and goes back to hers. 6hrs timezone difference. Back then she told me she got a bf so I stopped texting (but still didnt believe it was important/real but I couldnt persist logically).
Few months ago I decide to move on and tbh there was another girl at work (lets call her B) in my country I liked a lot and delayed delayed until I got tired. The situation with B goes really awkward and once even really cold. This puts in motion a chain of events that end up with A applying from her country for a place where I am. (My boss made me text her a job offer after an informal talk about professionals in a certain field).
A was happy like I’ve never seen her and I was happy too for finally making her happy (she had gone through a lot). It feels like fairytale right? Felt like destiny. Well it gets spoiled immediately due to A’s financial obligations. Its postponed to be re-discussed next year with a small possibility it happens (mostly it doesnt since A can be a bit pessimistic).
I had trouble entering SATS normally for this issue so I went down to Focus 15 (Gateway Tapes, F15 for manifestation) and applied the law of assumption with that type of SATS.
For Both. I know its not the best but honestly I was in a super-bad mood. Super. Everyday I woke up with high blood pressure and couldnt function normally. Sleep deprived i maintained myself on feet with a lot of caffeine.
Then suddenly B warmed up like never before. Electricity sparks like never before. Its the moment one starts thinking “wtf is going on” but I play along. I declared myself to B last week and B told me she has a “quite serious” story since 2 years. I remembered I had applied it only for warming up with B since I never imagined she had someone. Whats worse I think B might be navigating with the Law unknowingly. She might be referring to her bfs sister as “my sister-in-law” (she talks about a sister in law and I’m thinking its not brothers wife)
Next step I took a lot of time to construct for A and B the perfect end state scenes because I figured out my application of the Law was imperfect. Instead of going to the end with both I had gone midway and obviously moved only midway.
So I entered another Focus Level which is not for manifestation (I wanted creativity for a perfect scene) and for A, who is in another country rn with financial issues, i imagined her in my room dressing up after the deed with an aura of tranquility and happiness and the whole scene pervaded by “Isnt it wonderful every her issue got fixed”. The scene for A is really complete. For B, it was a visualization of her insta account (which now has no pictures) full of our pictures as a couple from all those places around the world. But it didnt carry a big emotional load. Only a silent knowing.
The big problem is, I still cant enter SATS.
I took the incidents as evidence of the physical world malleability instead of failures. It boosted my faith. I went trance-like states to figure out spotlessly perfect scenes for my wish fulfilled. I still can’t seem to enter SATS for this situation. Not even with the tapes - I fall asleep. I trick myself, try to change assumption, but nope. Alcohol wont do either. I told the whole story so someone could diagnose my inability to enter SATS properly?
What about other methods except SATS? Well since I built my scenes in trance states they feel like dreams or vague memories - I thought conjuring them up in SATS would be the better way. As I write this, I remembered I must revise something if I want A. I came up with a scene that needed revision too.
Which one am I picking? I gravitate towards A, although B looks like the real loss from where I stand. But I need to be able to relax myself to pick the one I truly desire. But I cannot enter any supersensible state for any of the two since I figured out the scene for B too. Since B might be unconsciously operating the Law, is this part of the Law too? Could in trying to figure out her end scene I did something against the Law since B might also be using the Law (although unconsciously - unsure tbh)?