I [20F] am still attached to my ex [20M] while developing feelings for my coworker [20M]
I was with my ex for about two years. We broke up at the beginning of college because he was dealing with family and financial issues, and he told me he wouldn’t be able to give me the attention or time I deserved. I understood, but it was still really hard to let go. We agreed to stay friends.
After the breakup, I kept wanting clarity and closure. I reached out to him a lot, and I also talked to one of his friends (who was also my friend) about the situation. My ex didn’t like that and got upset with me. Eventually we talked things out, and the very next day he asked me to hang out. I agreed, and we ended up being intimate again. That turned into a pattern.
For a while, he would tell me that what we were doing “didn’t mean anything,” but then he would sweet‑talk me, call me amazing and pretty, and act like we were more than friends. Over time he became more comfortable with us being intimate, and I went along with it because I still loved him. But recently I’ve realized I want more than being “close friends.” He’s also very possessive and always wants me to tell him the truth and not lie to him which I guess was understandable but everything still confuses me.
He keeps saying he can’t give me the money or things he thinks I deserve, but I’ve started working now. At my job, I’ve gotten close to a coworker. We talk a lot, play games, call each other, and we work together almost every shift. Naturally we built a connection, and I’ve realized I really like him.
Now I feel stuck. I still have love for my ex and a strong bond with him, but I also genuinely like my coworker. I feel confused, guilty, and anxious about everything. I don’t know what direction to go in or what’s actually best for me.
If something doesn't make sense, let me know I can add more details. I tried to keep this short, but I'm open to clarifying anything that would help !