Every second is just more painful then the one last one
I just can’t take it anymore. And I have no hopes of it getting better. For most of my life I struggled with social anxiety and was mostly fine with it. I had my few school friends it play games with and everything was fine. Then school was over we lost track of eachother but It was still fine for me I was happy had my family and partly even enjoyed not having to meet with people. Now that I got older I changed. I want those social contacts. I need those social contacts. I still have my family that I love so much but it isn’t the same as friends or an relationship. And the sad thing is it wont get better. I know it. I was able to recreate contact with an old school friend and we met a few time which helped greatly for a short period. I even asked him if there’s a possibility the meet up with the other who he still has great contact to and he said hell try. But there where never results and I don’t think because he doesn’t care its because for so long I wasn’t in his vision. And getting complete new friends is basically impossible. I don’t know where to go, how to approach them and they’ll probably wont even like me. If not for my family and cats I probably would’ve ended this misery already. Everyday is a fucking terror and it only gets worse… can’t even pursue my solo hobbies with fun anymore :(