panicking over my first sexual experience
I grew up in a very religious and conservative family, they are jehova's witness, and i grew up as one of them, and in a certain way I think i always knew I was gay but I never lived my adolescence freely, never had boyfriends or even kiss a guy, neither had experienced something with girls. So i didn't have my first kiss until a few months ago being 24 with a stranger in a bar during a vacation trip in another country. I always have been scared of doing whatever I want, not only for the fear of getting caught and get expelled from my family, it's also for this weird feeling of something really bad would happen to me if i do "wrong things" that my parents taught me since I was a child. So in this trip I went 0 to 100 in a weekend, this man who was my first kiss ended up sleeping with me in my hotel room, we didn't have penetrative sex, but there were kissed, blow jobs, we jerked and he even rubbed his dick against my ass, I think he might tried to slide in the tip but i started to feeling uncomfortable and stopped him.
It was not bad to be my first experience, he was kind, patient and didn't made me feel judged. But here's the thing, next morning i felt really awkward, maybe even anxious and started overthinking why I did that, eventually I kind of get over that feeling
But now at almost four months after that happened, I'm paranoic, thinking I might got a STD, and rationally I know that it is unlike to have happened, not impossible but the probabilities are low. But I can't get off this feeling of that I would have a tragic consequence for my "sins"
I have even considered to pay for a test to just calm down, I'm just tired of this feeling, and at the same time i feel like I'm behaving ridiculous
So I was needing to talk about this
I would be grateful for any advice you can give me