Opinion about my Psychosophy
I often find myself struggling with whether I am a 1E or a 1F. I haven't read Syntax of Love, and I think that's one of the reasons why I'm confused and unable to type myself correctly.
Why I think I could be a 1E and 1F is perhaps how I tend to overlap my understanding towards pursuing what pleases me. For example, I would buy my favorite coffee because I simply crave it. I would watch videos on YouTube to stimulate myself since I can be bored most of the time. I like buying things and merches such as figures or stuffed toys, but I struggle keeping them clean since I feel lazy to do so. My appetite for the consumption of food or any materials depends on my mood. I would wear my sweater even if it were hot because if I felt like I looked good, I would refrain from being too affected by my own discomfort, but sometimes I would still remove it if I start feeling itchy because of my sweat. Sometimes, I dislike eating even though I feel hungry, but I would also eat a lot if I "felt" like doing so. I like pleasing my needs, but sometimes I feel like doing it is a drag. I don't want much grandeur like buying expensive products.
For what I am aware of is that 1E is quite expressive and genuine to their own emotions. Through obvious gestures, loudness or softness of their voice, or simply just looking at their face, you can determine what they feel quickly. I am naturally expressive, but mostly whenever I am comfortable to do so, but there will be instances when I need to mask my emotions if I feel that I might be perceived as too vulnerable or weak. I hate how expressive I am and how I can't stop myself from feeling. Whenever someone is being vulnerable, I would either want to try and comfort them or maybe too indifferent, but it always ends up that I wouldn't do anything since I am not great with my words. The way I regard others' emotions is biased, for I always find myself to only care for them most of the time if I like this person or not. I would also speak out and vent my emotions freely once I trust this person a lot; I feel that I couldn't refrain from being too transparent with them. I do still dislike it sometimes since it's making me feel vulnerable.
When it comes to my logic placement, I regard myself as 3L because most of the time, I find myself enjoying how to articulate my thoughts and sometimes sharing them with others when people ask me but I hate it when some people who feel superior to their own opinion will try to educate me in a way that is ridiculing my thoughts. I love discussing opinions with others, but once this person tries to convince me I am wrong rather than discussing it thoroughly, I would immediately get turned off since I value the process of discussing it rather than simply pushing the facts right on my face.
Lastly, my volition is low since I don't really have a concrete plan on what to do for my future although I dislike it when people try to tell me what to do. I don't know what I'm doing, but I still try to figure it out by myself. I don't really like taking the leader role since I don't really care much about getting people together. I wouldn't mind following others as long as it aligns with what I believe and want.