Summer no longer feels like summer
My brain wants everything scheduled on the weekend
I cant determine what I actually want to do
Bcz I cant decide, I am unable to relax as well
I just cant understand or recall how in childhood when we used to have only sunday off instead of weekend 2 days , we used to have so much fun and could relax and do lot of things and play
I wish my life could run on that kind of autopilot again...
Recently I have started to see posts from some accounts that I blocked in the past now there is no way to get rid of it , there is no block option, only unblock option is there, I have blocked thousands of bots and spam accounts btw, bcz I only want to see real people's posts...
Is there anything can be done?
I am not sure what i am going to write
But lets think
I jerked off last n8ght
Watching latina incest porn
Then i drank greeen tea
Lost in thoughts
I also watched a youtube video yesterday about revealing ur unconscious self or something , taking back life control etc
Paused in half
Lost in thoughts
I want to be like a ghost
Formless shapeless unseen but existing
Nothing can hurt me
All objects and non objects pass right through me
Stretching the limits of my consciousness
Wandering into the void
Every time reaching a deeper and deeper point
It feels unsafe but new
It will help me develop something in me
Resistance yes but something more
An awareness of the bigger outer world
Make me more powerful on mind level
There is no meaning in life but
Maybe
Learning about the unknowns might fill some gap
May make me feel great
Oh at least i am dying with the knowledge that others never sought and will never know
Oh i am so great becoz i know about the outer farther things or universe
My inner domain has widened
My world no longer small and feel like prison
Maybe now i can experince freedom
It must feel incredible being truly free like a bird like satoru gojo
I am no longer restricted
I dont need to fulfill any purpose becoz i am no longer bound to anything
No longer need to chase girls
No criticism for being unattractive
No more being poor
I am free of all burdens all bad attributes
I am weightless floating in vast space into the void
In search of nothing
Finding nothing
Just keep floating for endless eternity
Until someday i reach the end either mine or of the universe
And i kinda feel sad