r/ask

Usually, my spouse and I are pretty big spenders when we go out to eat (last time we took family out we spent like $350 + a solid tip), especially because we do not do it often. Lately, a local restaurant of ours has had a value promo that we fell in love with. The perfect amount of food for both of us as we rarely eat our leftovers. We have been there 3 times, and the service difference is palpable. I have never felt so rushed to get out of an establishment in my life, and it has seemingly gotten worse with each trip. We also don't tip on cards, always cash, and since we have spent less, we have more for the tip... but the waiters there have honestly been relatively rude even though we haven't asked for refills on drinks or sauces, stayed polite, and *always* tipped. Every time, a receipt is slapped on the table while we are mid-meal, and we are asked to pay at that moment without any question about if that is all we want. We just left, and I received a backhanded comment about not leaving a tip on our card from the waiter as she was looking at the screen while I chose my tip option. I still left cash, but it makes me hesitant to eat out anymore if I am just going to be judged and given bad service for being perceived as poor. Is this normal?

People are so cruel and scary man. I'm autistic so yes that may be part of it but still, I dread any time I have to leave home. Even for places I have been to many times like school or the grocery store I still get really anxious. There's just no way I will succeed in life with such an extreme fear of people. Next year when I graduate my mom wants me to get a job but thats just going to miserable. Freaking miserable. I hate people so much. Almost everything involves interaction with people I'm screwed and want to cry every day that I can't handle things most others can with ease. If I don't know you personally then I'm terrified of you.

I know there are police detectives… but I remember TV shows having “detectives” available to hire by the general public.

Edit - thanks all. I know there are people who do investigative work for insurance, lawyers, etc. I was thinking specifically of detectives to follow a spouse, hunt for clues on a crime (hired by the public), etc.

I'm 18 and I never had a sip of alcohol in my life, is alcohol really worth all that hype? I've got a medical condition that makes alcohol much more risky to drink than a regular person so I avoid it but I'm really curious how drinking actually feels. I've tried taking puffs of vape several times does it feel similar to that when you drink?

What would you see someone do that would have you thinking "yup, they lack in *that* department"?

F

Why don't we see bands with non-singing female members that just shred the guitar or beat the drums?

I'm wondering how I should approach situations like this. Should I stop taking such people's advice seriously, assume they simply changed their mind, or just not think much of it? How do you handle people whose advice and actions don't end up matching?

Hi, I found out i kinda have feelings for my long time friend . I’ve known her 5 years, and for the past 3 years, i have walked her home from school every single day. We kinda had a thing in year 7, but we were young and dumb and didn’t really count lol. Anyway, she’s amazing, she’s really sweet, really funny and just generally a great person. At my prom, most people are going as friends instead of couples as most people in my year are either single or dating someone either outside of our school, or in a different year group. A few weeks ago she invited me, and we’re even wearing matching colours (if your interested, navy blue lmao). I had the idea that at the end of the night, i was going to pull her aside and say something along the lines of “So i thought i’d let you know that since like last year, i might’ve started getting feelings for you, and i just thought i’d let tell you as this might be one of the last opportunities i get”. Is this a good idea? Would there be a better place and time? Should i do it over text? Should i do it at all?, im stuck 😭🙏

To give context oj why im askijg this is the fact that im Blonde Hair Blue eyes, fair skin tone, while the rest of my family is darker skin toned, brown hair and eyes. I am also half Brazilian (From Belem, Para,) and Half Southern Italian (Sicilian and Campiana) and as far as i traced back with physical descriptions with verifed sources all described as being dark skin toned, dark hair, i even did multiple dna tests barley any other dna besides Brazilian and Southern Italian with only abt 1% coming from poland (which wouldnt do anything)

a year or so ago, my stepmom was getting onto me about my behavior and during this conversation she made a small mention about how she's "known me my entire life." i didn't question it, but presently i've become more and more suspicious about what this meant

for some context, my dad left me, my brother, and my mom when i was around 4 years old. from what i remember, he'd to to the gym after dinner and wouldn't come back until the early morning. my mom moved us out shortly after this started, and i never saw my father again until i was around 9 or 10 years old

whenever i’d ask about seeing my dad, my mom always said before i would not like who he was. she also said that he never wanted split custody of my brother and i, but be maintains that she made it difficult for him to see us.

i now know that my mother was right about my father not being a good man, and i’m planning to cut him off completely soon. but is it possible that there was an affair that happened when i was a kid or before my parents’ separation?

How do couples know the marriage is irreparably broken and warrants a divorce? Like I'm assuming the couple already knows how they fight and repair their relationship, and whatever crises they are going through isn't following the same pattern? Or is it just a gut instinct thing?

Note: I am not asking personally for myself as I'm not in a relationship. This post is asking out of curiosity and for further knowledge.

I know colonialism is a hot button word. But in my opinion they brought culture, commerce, economic opportunities, and modern inventions to poor nations. Not to excuse everything they did, but the world in my opinion is better off because of it.

I know this question seems to have kinda an obvious answer. Everyone says to me , I need to love myself first before any relationship or anybody else comes along I HAVE to love ME. Somewhere between the last 2 relationships & 2 serious losses later …& I have NO idea who I am anymore. I have nothing going on my life, I don’t have a job and tbh I really don’t have a home either. If it wasn’t for my “best friend” idk where or who or what I’d be . The problem is I’m not sure now after this time after what all I’ve had to go thru to be here and have the friendship that I have with her . We dated for almost 4 years and loved each other we broke up and never really left each others side and she started dating again. I haven’t been able to find myself interested in anyone since .. it’s been well over 2 years long enough. Everyone in my city thinks we are still dating and or messing around but we really haven’t been intimate or anything like that in a very long time .. mainly because I don’t FEEL anything anymore and when we originally broke up, we were focused on staying single and getting our mental health and lives back together separately. I see now that I stuck to that decision but she can’t not be in a relationship. I’m just lost I want to find me I don’t want to love her anymore. Does that make sense? I want to love me, I want to enjoy my music in my hobbies again I want to feel cocky and popular like I used to be. I feel like all this pain and everything that I’ve been through. Has changed me feel worse the better hasn’t came yet.

Ever since it's been getting rainy here in where I live at, I couldn't go home from school without getting wet. Because of it, 2 out of 8 notebooks are literally getting wet by the water passing through my bag. even if I had an umbrella, its too short to cover it all without sacrificing myself to be hit by the rain, so I wanted to know if I could possibly make my bag homophobic, or if I need to buy a new bag. If anyone knows or can give advice, please do!

Group of friends and I had this debate that one of us saw online where there was a choice between red or blue.
If you choose red and red is majority everyone including those who chose blue will live
If you choose blue and blue is the majority than everyone who chose blue will live but those who chose red will die.

The ones who chose blue believed that the majority of the world would choose blue bc naturally everyone is selfish.
The ones who chose red said that choosing red is a win win (no one’s dies) so who wouldn’t choose red.

Would love to see what yall think

Been dabbing around the house and need the smell out overnight for inspection. Any tips would help.

I do swimming 3 times a week and go to the basketball court every day I can. My swim workout is usually 1500 yards and it’s an hour, and my basketball workout is 1 hour and 30. I also do rock climbing 2 hours a week. With all these workouts in mind how do I gain weight? I’ve tried McDonald’s before and even when eating it 3 times a week with a big order like 1 L Diet Coke, L fries, 10 McNuggets and a mcchicken, I can gain weight. I’ve eaten junk food too, and I’ve eaten healthy. All of these methods havent allowed me to gain weight. I’m 5’9 and have been 125 pounds for like 3 months now. any way to gain weight easily, preferably cheap?

The fireworks just stopped (3am). I'm thinking bring out my subwoofers at 6am and loop a rusty chainsaw SFX all morning long.

I used to have a purse that had a slightly gothic look to it with a cartoon doll design on with black button eyes. It had a specific name for the doll design itself and I cant remember what it was. I can picture it I just dont know how to describe it