u/nickisadogname

We sell clothes for kids, and customer brought a standard wool undershirt to the cash register. We have these same ones every fall, with some minor changes depending on what the higher ups think. She said she received it as a gift and needed to exchange it for a size bigger. No problem.

She didn't have a receipt. She said the person who gifted it didn't include a gift receipt. I ask if the person who gifted it to her might have registered the purchase under a membership, and she said no. I tell her I'm sorry but I need some proof of purchase, and offer all the alternatives we have.

She stands there for a second, then leans over the register like we're being conspiratorial. Then she says "what if I told you... That I bought this last year? So it's way past the return window." She's smiling.

I said "then you can't return it anyway" and she laughs and says "damn, he just grows so fast I thought I'd pull a fast one. Oh well, worth the try, right?"

And the whole time I'm like why do you think we are buddies. You're trying to fuck me over and you're acting like a friend caught you trying to set up a surprise party for them. What you're doing is fucking wrong, dude, why are you smiling and laughing about it. Be ashamed. Have the decency to be ashamed at least.

In Norway there's four official stages of learning to drive one has to pass before being allowed to sit for the final driving exam.

1. A basic driving course (theoretical)
2. Familiarity with the vehicle itself (practical)
3. Familiarity with traffic (practical)
4. Concluding practice (practical)

For each step, the driving instructor has to test you and pass you.

I am now on step 3. I only have about 25 hours behind the wheel total.

I am not generally an anxious person. I was pretty surprised when I started driving and it stressed me out so badly. After my first lesson I told the instructor that I found it scary and she said that's completely normal, and that since I'm doing this as an adult I'm going to have a much better grasp on consequences and responsibility than the 18 year olds who get their license immediately do. She said the only real cure for the fear was to keep driving, as much and as often as possible, in order to get really comfortable and confident.

I've also talked to everybody I know who has their license, and they all say the same thing. "Yeah I was scared out of my mind for ages but now I drive like it's second nature."

Last driving lesson I started crying. I found it humiliating.

To me, it feels like the fear is only getting worse. I dread it every single time I'm going to be behind the wheel. The entire lesson I'm waiting for it to be over. After each lesson I completely deflate, start shaking, and this last time I even cried.

I wanna stress that I don't show any of these symptoms during driving; my instructor says I'm calm and clear headed in traffic, I follow instructions well, and her feedback is always minor stuff. I also drive privately with the father of a friend of mine (he's a saint), and he says the same thing.

I just don't know if I have the willpower required to keep forcing myself to drive when the experience is so negative. I also think that gritting my teeth and just waiting for it to become better by itself isn't helping my mental state.

I was wondering if there's something I could actively do to get a handle on the fear? Are there activities I could do, things I could study? Ways to talk to myself in my brain that will help? Some people really like driving; what do they like about it? Is that something I could tap into? I just need something that feels productive to help me keep at this while I'm waiting for that confidence everybody is talking about.

Edit: jeg har sagt ifra til huseier. Jeg skal også kjøpe en sånn dingst fra Clas Ohlson som måler luftfuktighet for å sjekke

Bor i en kjellerhybel. Flyttet inn i februar og da var det ingenting å merke, men det har vært en sykt våt sommer og høst. For en måned eller to siden kjente jeg på pusten at lufta var fuktig. Er også sånn at hvis du lar et par sokker ligge på gulvet en natt og plukker dem opp neste dag så kjennes de klamme og kalde ut i hendene.

Jeg hadde allerede en luftavfukter på badet så jeg flyttet den ut i hovedrommet (30 kvadrat), og siden da har den gjennomsnittlig dratt tre liter vann ut av lufta hver dag. Det har hjulpet mye, sokkene er ikke lenger klamme, men hvis det er tørt og sol ute også kommer du inn så kjennes lufta fortsatt litt sånn fuktig. Litt kjellerstemning.

Er dette vanlig i en kjeller? Det er jo ikke fuktig nok til at klærne mine mugner eller noe sånn, men jeg tenker om huseier har et fuktproblem her nede så vil han kanskje vite det nå heller enn å finne ut av det senere, hvis det påvirker panelet eller strukturen i huset eller noe. Jeg vet ikke så mye om sånn, jeg har bare hørt at fukt er dumt i en bolig.

Så vidt jeg vet så er kjellerhybelen mur hele veien rundt med panel på innsiden. Det ble bygd på 50-tallet. Hvis det hjelper.

TL;DR:

• 18 måneder på voksenpsykiatrien for å bli diagnosert med autisme
• To år på NAV
  • Behandling via autismesenteret
  • Begynne på medisiner
  • Finne jobb med hjelp fra NAV
  • Kartlegging av arbeidskapasitet i samarbeid med NAV, jobben og fastlegen
  • Samtaler med fastlegen, NAV henter inn dokumentasjon fra legekontoret
• Sende søknad. Veileder ettersender all dokumentasjonen vi har skaffet.
• Fremtidig: behandlingstiden er på rundt et år.

Jeg har alltid hatt lærevansker og atferdsproblemer. Barnevernet rapporterte mistenkt autisme, men på den tiden (tidlig 2000) var terskelen høy for å diagnosere jenter med autisme. Det var tenkt at det var mest en guttesykdom. Barneskolen jobbet med fosterforeldre og barnevernet for å tilpasse som om jeg hadde diagnose likevel, noe jeg tror har vært helt avgjørende i livet

Jeg studerte i voksen alder, men opplevde fortsatt utfordringer. Jeg er litt dum. Gode karakterer på skrevne oppgaver, gigantisk trekk for gruppearbeid og presentasjoner. Noen mentale sammenbrudd det jeg skader meg selv, av grunner jeg ikke helt kan forklare. Jeg går til de helsefolkene som jobber i studentforeningen, og de anbefaler at jeg går til psykolog. Jeg blir referert via fastlegen og går til voksenpsykiatrien.

Etter 18 måneder med utredning (adult ability test, WEISS testen, time hos fysioterapeut for å studere og korrigere gange, utredning av nevropsykolog, samtaler og referater fra familie, barnevernspedagoger, lærere, til slutt en feildiagnose av bipolar som etterpå ble fjernet av en psykolog som spesialiserer seg på bipolare), så har jeg en autismediagnose. Jeg fullfører også studiene. Det fikk jeg til fordi diagnosen ga meg rett til noen tilpasninger, blant annet mer direkte hjelp fra professor utenfor forelesninger, og ekstra tid på oppgaver og eksamener.

Etter studiene sliter jeg med å finne jobb. Er nå utdannet innen 3D animasjon, men det yrket har implodert litt. Jeg tør ikke flytte til utlandet der det er flere jobber fordi jeg vil bo nær mamma, som er min største støtteperson. Jeg tar kontakt med NAV fordi jeg har hørt at de kan hjelpe deg med jobbsøking.

NAV forteller meg at de må kartlegge arbeidskapasiteten min, og at de må ha bevis på at jeg er "ferdig behandlet." Jeg hadde inntrykk av at det var ikke så mye behandlig for autisme (etter diagnosen så avsluttet psykologen forholdet vårt fordi han sa det ikke fantes et standard behandligsløp for autisme), men NAV snakket med fastlegen min som refererte meg til autismesenteret der jeg bor.

På autismesenteret fikk jeg samtaler og oppgaver rundt emosjonell regulering. En stor del av samtalene var litt opplæring i hvordan man kan leve et uavhengig liv. De koblet også inn en psykiater, som sammen med fastlegen min satte meg på en medisin som heter propranolol. Da taklet jeg mye bedre de fysiske symptomene på overveld, og kunne være i vanskelige situasjoner (og takle dem) mye lettere. De koblet også inn en fysioterpaut fordi jeg har problemer med motorikken, og da jobbet vi med å gå rett og øver på å holde små ting som blyanter. Jeg vet det kan høres ganske teit ut. Mange vet ikke engang at autisme har fysiske symptomer, men det er en nevrologisk tilstand som kan påvirke gange, motorikk og romfølelse. Noen ganger må man øve på å holde en blyant. Nå bruker jeg en sånn tjukk greie rundt blyanter og penner.

Samtidig hjalp NAV meg med å søke jobb. Jeg fant ut at jeg liker å jobbe i faghandel, fordi jeg kan ta masse kurs om det vi selger og bli skikkelig kunnskapsrik om dem. Jeg liker jo å lære, selv om jeg kan være treg. Jeg får en butikkjobb i 30%.

Jeg får godkjent AAP rett før jeg fikk den jobben.

NAV kartlegger arbeidskapasiteten min ved å avtale forskjellige stillingsprosenter med sjefen, så jeg får prøvd ut 40% og 50% og 60%. Mens vi gjør dette skriver jeg det de kaller en hverdagslogg, den ser sånn her ut

https://preview.redd.it/b54lq3ldldlh1.png?width=910&format=png&auto=webp&s=b84936dfd834cc07a9eef4d715eec557e7f16122

Når du jobber i en prosent som ikke er vanlig arbeidsforhold (jeg hadde kontrakt på 30%, men jobbet mer som tiltak fra NAV) så får du ikke lønn for den ekstra tiden, men du får tiltakspenger.

Autismesenteret hjelper meg med å finne ut hvilke tilpasninger som kan hjelpe meg i jobben. De skriver det ned så jeg kan levere det til både NAV og arbeidsplassen.

Som følge av det får jeg jobbe bare senskift (jeg har stort søvnbehov, så å kunne sove så lenge jeg trenger om morgenen hjelper mye), får være mye på lageret (jeg tar mottak, setter ting på plass, pakker ut og henger opp løse varer, monterer ting, fikser ting på verkstedet, osv), og jeg får ta flere mindre pauser i løpet av dagen.

Etter ca to år har NAV konkludert med to ting:

• Jeg er "ferdig behandlet" via autismesenteret
• Jeg har en arbeidskapasitet på 50% stilling før jeg ikke lenger kan gjøre ting utenfor jobb, som å lage mat og rydde

Så hadde vi et siste møte, NAV hentet inn legeærklering fra fastlegen, og så sendte vi søknaden om 50% gradert uføretrygd

I work at a store that sees a lot of families, so I meet kids every day and they love to talk. I had this kid in, maybe three or four years old, and she had a baby brother who was being wheeled around in a stroller. She told me "when I was a baby I couldn't talk" so I asked her if she remembers being a baby and she said yeah. She told me it was really difficult because she couldn't even walk back then.

I know kids make stuff up. But I thought the interaction was funny. So now "do you remember being a baby?" has become part of my toolbox when talking to little kids at work, and a surprising amount of them say yes. I'd say about half of them age 2-4 will claim to totally remember what it was like to be a baby, and they'll tell me all about it. Like I assume they're all lying, or maybe they just have really active imaginations so they imagine what it would be like to be a baby and then tell me about it like it's fact.

When I google this there's a lot of results for infantile amnesia, but as far as I can understand that's specifically the ability of adults to recall early childhood memories. And when I read posts and comments from parents on reddit about the topic, a lot of them talk about their kids and toddlers recalling weirdly specific stuff that happened a year or two earlier.

Could the kids at my job be telling the truth? Do some of them remember being babies?

This might sound wild but stay with me.

Never had any issues with temperature regulation while sleeping. Then in February of this year I moved into a new place, and all of a sudden I am waking up every morning overheating, drenched in sweat. The new place is a small basement unit in a house built in the 50s.

Things I've tried: thinner duvet, no duvet, sleeping naked, replacing all bed textiles with cotton, replacing mattress with a latex mattress, keeping the bedroom cold (15 degrees celcius), making sure not to eat or drink two hours before bed, adding lots of fans. I am not on any medications and I don't drink alcohol. I also went to the doctor with this issue and confirmed it's not perimenopause or anything else she could tell.

The only change in my life is moving. It started literally the first night I slept here. The air quality here seems normal and ventilation doesn't seem to be an issue, and I sleep with the window open most nights anyway.

Moving is literally the only thing I can think of that might have caused this, but I just have no clue how. Does anyone have any idea? Is this place haunted by an overheating ghost?

Lifehack!!!! Use carpet gripping tape under your carpets and rugs in order to stop them from moving around on the floor.

https://preview.redd.it/rxu6ai3g1qjh1.png?width=995&format=png&auto=webp&s=9bc6cc7e8f6ad126658078b11add6839145848b0

When he first got diagnosed he reacted very strongly to the insulin, which caused that huge up and down curve in the beginning. Then he stayed high for months. I kept upping the dose and it was like his body didn't notice. I started out low and slow, going up by 0.25 units every week, but it did nothing.

Honestly, it was advice on the feline diabetes messaging board that turned the tide. I know it's risky, but one of the members there had struggled with the same and suggested I up the dose more dramatically, and also up it after three days instead of five or seven. Obviously this carries a higher risk of hypoglycemia but I'm home most of the time and I could monitor him very closely.

So that's what I did. And finally in July it's like I broke through the insulin resistance and he started dropping.

Average glucose in July was 17 mmol. In August it's currently 10 mmol.

Jeg hadde ikke mulighet til å øvelseskjøre og ta lappen da jeg var 18, men nå er jeg voksen og har voksenpenger og gjør mitt beste. Jeg øvelseskjører på privaten tre ganger i uka, har kjøretimer med kjørelærer en gang i uka. Har gjort dette siden juli. Er på trinn 3 nå.

Problemet er at jeg er redd bak rattet. Tilbakemeldingene jeg får er positive, kjørelærer sier jeg er en rolig og trygg sjåfør, bare at jeg fortsatt gjør småfeil som å glemme å blinke og at jeg ikke alltid sjekker alle speilene + blindsonen. Likevel så sitter jeg med stive armer og føtter, må minne meg på at jeg må puste, hver eneste sving føles som et lite nødstilfelle. Spesielt nå som det forventes at jeg skal være i rett fart - når jeg begynte så aksepterte kjørelærer at jeg kjørte ganske sakte men nå må jeg kjøre fartsgrense og jeg synes det går så fort.

Jeg vet dette kommer til å høres patetisk ut. Og alle jeg har snakket med og lest erfaringer fra sier at dette går over når jeg blir vant med det. Det er bare det at jeg har begynt å skikkelig grue meg til hver gang jeg skal kjøre. Hver gang det er over så føles det som jeg har overlevd noe fælt. Det føles ikke som at jeg blir mer komfortabel bak rattet, selv om jeg objektivt blir flinkere; det føles som at det blir værre.

Jeg har begynt å mistenke at det ikke funker å bare "vente til det går over." Jeg tror det er noe her jeg må aktivt gjøre. At det er en eller annen handling jeg kan ta for å gjøre meg selv mer avslappet. Jeg bare vet ikke hva.

I feel like I'm more vulnerable to getting caught up in ambiguity because of the autism so I'm posting here

I work at a store that sells stuff for kids and we offer to gift wrap stuff. If a customer wants something gift wrapped I ask "do you want pink or blue wrapping paper?" and I'd say about 70% of the time they don't answer with "pink" or "blue", they answer with "it's for a boy." or "it's for a girl."

Like I get which option you're referring to, but I just don't understand why I asked you a direct either-or question and you wanted to freestyle a little. It's not that I don't understand which option you mean. It's that I presented you with options and you technically didn't pick any of them.

(And in this particular case the gift is usually for a child, and kids can be really really passionate about favorite colors, so just saying "it's for a girl" could go wrong. Like, is the girl currently in an Elsa phase? She might want blue.)

More examples

>"Do you want the small or large burger?"
"Oh yeah, I'm really hungry."

>"Are we leaving at 10 or 10:30?"
"We should probably get there as early as possible."

>"Are you coming to the birthday dinner?"
"I might be late."

Like. I do get what you're saying, usually. But it's that extra fraction of a second I have to spend on tying your at-first unrelated response to the most likely option that just grinds my gears.

Jeg er delvis ufør, men jeg har en nevrologisk tilstand som kommer til å påvirke meg mer etterhvert som jeg blir eldre. Noen ganger kjenner jeg på sorgen over tapt potensiale. Jeg har en psykolog som sier at for å holde på en mestringsfølelse i hverdagen, og for å føle at i dag betyr noe uansett hva som skjer i framtiden, så er det lurt å ha mål.

• Et langtidsmål er noe du kan jobbe med i flere år. Ting som "bli utdannet sykepleier" eller "få barn." Mitt langtidsmål er å kjøpe en leilighet.
• Et kortidsmål er noe du jobber mot i maks ett år. Her har jeg valgt å ta lappen, og jeg er midt i den prosessen nå. Andre eksempler kan være "skrive en novelle" eller "få meg en jobb"
• Valgfritt så kan man også ha et kort-kortidsmål, som er noe du vil oppnå denne dagen eller denne uken. Det er ikke alltid jeg har et sånt, men det har jeg nå. Jeg har fri neste uke og da vil jeg kjøpe sånn hobbyleire på Panduro og lage en telysholder.

Som mange av øvelsene man får fra psykolog så kan det føles teit, men jeg tror det er bra for meg. Når jeg spør folk jeg kjenner om ideér til mål er det noen som synes det høres helt fjernt ut, og noen som sier ja herregud det er så sinnsykt viktig.

Også opplever jeg at hvis man spør folk om mål så kan man ha ganske interessante samtaler. Noen folk har mål, de bare kaller det ikke det. En kompis av meg sa "det er jo ikke ett mål sånn sett, men jeg har tenkt å forhandle høyere lønn i høst." og jeg synes det teller som et mål, jeg. Det er noe man jobber mot for å forbedre livet.

Har du noe sånn? Hvis ja, hva er det?

I had a roommate once who got a dog, and this dog was awful. I told them as much. But obviously I was still nice to the dog because thats a dog and I'm a human and I'm not gonna be mean to a dog. So my roommate concluded that I secretly loved the dog, because I said hello to him and petted him when I saw him. I moved out and cited the dog as the entire reason.

I work at a store that sees a lot of families. When kids come in I greet them, and sometimes kids talk to me about whatever they're thinking about. And of course I answer them. I ask them if that's fun and whatever. And I've had coworkers ask me "I thought you didn't like kids?" like bro. I don't like kids. But I'm not gonna be mean to a kid? I'm a grown adult in control of my feelings? If a kid tells me she's excited to go to the beach I'm gonna say "oh cool, do you like the beach?" I'm not gonna say "tell that to someone who gives a shit lmao."

Sometimes friends will ask my opinion on something like clothes or a movie or whatever, and I'll say I don't like it, then proceed to talk about the good and bad stuff I noticed about it. And they'll be confused that I said something positive even though I said I didn't like it. "You didn't like it but you thought the music was good?" yeah bro. Again, I'm a grown adult. I'm not gonna cross my arms and sit on the ground and pout and go "nuh uh :(((" about everything I didn't like.

Long story short: old lady owns an 8 year old cat. Due to dementia she had to move into a home, and when her family was taking care of her stuff they took the cat to the vet and found he had diabetes. Nobody knows how long he's had it. His previous owner was sadly not in a state to take care of him.

I'm friends with one of the family members. I wanted to experience having a cat, and he needed someone willing to care for the cat until a permanent home could be found. I became his fosterhome. Original family are paying all the bills.

We agreed I'd keep him until August. It is now August. A home has not been found. No shelters have been able too find even a temporary foster home for a cat with diabetes.

In the meantime, I've gotten to fully experience the responsibility of having a cat and also how much it costs to have a sick cat. Yes, the family pays me back at the end of each month, but until then I've had to use my own money.

On average he costs $916 a month. I make $1400 a month and my rent is $800. It's not sustainable. It's been really difficult just to make it work until I get the month's expenses paid back at the end of the month. If I owned him I'd be operating at a -$316 deficit every single month, and that's only after the cat and rent. If I want to keep eating food I'm double fucked.

Additionally, because he needs insulin every 12 hours every day, I haven't been able to travel. The cat is not able to travel with me. This year I missed a confirmation and a funeral in the family because I couldn't leave the cat. There are no cat hotels or babysitters in my town, and the vet also did not have anyone who might babysit. Family and friends are not comfortable doing his medical care, so won't babysit. If I owned this cat I'd be signing up for at least eight more years of never being out of the home for longer than 12 hours.

No matter which way I look at it, I can't find a way to keep this cat. I've also asked everyone I know if they'd be willing to take him and nobody is.

The original family can't find a way to keep this cat. They are also not able to foot the bill forever. They have more money than me but not much.

The only shelter in town, which is run by the only animal rights group in town, have been trying since April to find him a home. They haven't succeeded. The chance of them succeeding in the future is low.

I just feel so guilty. I'm uniquely qualified to care for him. I've been doing an incredible job of caring for him, in fact. He loves me, he likes living with me. Every night he sleeps in the crook of my arm like a baby. And the only way forward I can see is him getting put down because nobody has the ability or resources to give him a long and happy life.

If I didn't live alone (so someone else could care for him when I'm gone), or if I wasn't disabled (so my income was higher), or if he wasn't insulin resistant (suspected acromegaly; he got tested on friday) so he had a shot at remission, or a number of any other what-ifs, I could keep him.

But I can't. I've gone over the numbers a million times and I just can't find a way to do it. Even if I drain my very meager savings that would give me a few months before I'm entirely and completely out of money.

It feels so bad. It feels so bad.