MIL grandkid favoritism
I didn’t always dislike my MIL. After hearing about my husband’s traumas and how his mom favored his sisters over him his whole life, I started to build resentment.
Plus, she was always weird about our relationship. When we were dating, I sometimes wasn’t invited to family events because one of his sisters didn’t like me and would make a huge fuss if I came. Even when we were engaged, I was told I was lucky to be there since I wasn’t technically family yet.
Fast forward a few years later, when my SIL started dating her boyfriend, my MIL instantly included him in family gatherings and started calling him her son-in-law even though they weren’t married. That really bothered me. I confronted my MIL and told her how unfairly I felt treated for years, even after my husband and I got married. Her excuse was, “Well, you were the guinea pig for one of my children being in a serious relationship.” (LOL okay.)
I told her I felt her treatment of me stemmed from the fact that she always favored her daughters over her son (my husband), and I worried she would carry that same mentality when we had kids and his sisters had kids. She was SO offended by this.
Fast forward a few more years, and lo and behold, I was right. My SIL and I now both have children who are a year apart.
My SIL had a healthy delivery and a healthy baby, thankfully. When her daughter was born, my MIL hounded everyone to wear masks and wash their hands around the baby, which I understood.
My son was born with a collapsed lung and spent time in the NICU. The one time she visited him, she placed all her belongings on the hospital floor. I told her the floors were gross and filled with germs, and she responded, “Germs are everywhere.” I actually had to ask her to wash her hands before touching our son.
Now our kids are a little older, and things still haven’t changed. Whenever we go over to her house, there are toys and things everywhere for her granddaughter and nothing for my son. She’s always taking her granddaughter to do activities and even bought passes to the local children’s museum for her, but not for my son. Then, the one time she does spend time with my child, it gets blasted all over Facebook like she’s the grandparent of the year. In reality, when she spends time with my son, she’s usually on her phone and barely paying attention until it’s time to snap a few pictures.
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, venting, or just trying to find someone in the same position, but if you made it this far, thank you for listening.