u/Fabulous-Peanut-8710

This is another vent as I’m (F 26) really mad when processing my break up with a DA (M 26). Long story short, we broke up because after lovebombing, he started pulling away, then concluded he wants to be single to focus on his career lol. We dated for 10 months.

Yesterday when we spoke (3 weeks after the break up) for the last time before I blocked him, he said that whilst he misses me, he doesn’t miss the relationship, as he’s not ready to settle down and be a FATHER AND BUILD A HOUSE.

I’m furious because all I wanted is a committed relationship, NO ONE SPOKE ABOUT CHILDREN. I AM 26, HAVE A CAREER AND A FKN IUD FOR THE NEXT 8 YEARS.

What im trying to vent about is that my avoidant always found a way to ridicule my absolutely normal bare minimum needs and gaslight me and turn the situation around to make me look like some kind of crazy person asking for too much. This is a prime example - I wanted a NORMAL adult relationship and he starts talking to me like I asked him for children?????? Bro I’m 26 and not ready for children, I already didn’t trust you how tf do you actually believe this. He always tried to make himself look like the rational one… hate this sm im so mad

Avoidant and I broke up (I broke up officially but in reality he left me long before and he tried to breakup with me in the past) on 3rd May, now it’s 21st May. He promised me everything about building our life together, and then started pulling away for months and as we broke up he said it’s because he doesn’t want a relationship, he wants to focus on work etc. he was so indifferent.

I chased him a couple times since the break up (small texts etc). He was always dry but said he missed me. He randomly texted me yesterday about my stuff and before that that maybe we could meet in a couple weeks. This gave me hope that maybe he’ll have a realisation that he lost something good and he’ll come back (I knew it would be a miserable cycle again but I couldn’t believe I actually lost him). Today we spoke and I asked him why he’s not begging to get back if he’s missing me and he said it’s because he doesn’t want a relationship (obviously). I finally blocked him on everything. He actually didn’t do anything wrong, he was honest now, but I did something wrong by reaching out.

This is a sign for all of you contemplating breaking no contact to not do so, as they will only hurt you more.