I checked out after sex felt like a chore for years. Now my spouse wants to initiate, but I just don't care.
For years, intimacy in my marriage felt like a total chore. It was always mechanical, entirely on my spouse's terms, or met with rejection. Eventually, to protect my own peace, I just stopped trying. I take my spouse out on date nights regularly and my spouse says we have no problem with emotional connection completely checked out, stopped initiating, and accepted that we were essentially roommates. Honestly, it was a relief. But now that I’ve entirely stepped back, my spouse has noticed the gap. Suddenly, they want to initiate and are trying to be more affectionate. The problem is, I feel absolutely nothing. When they try, I don’t feel happy or excited—I just feel annoyed and indifferent. The switch inside me has been flipped to "off" for so long that I don't even want to turn it back on. It feels like too little, too late. I would rather handle my needs on my own . Has anyone else reached this point of total apathy after years of rejection? Can you ever get the spark back once you’ve genuinely stopped caring, or is the romantic side of the marriage just dead?