u/Faded35

Does anyone else have a hard forging connections? Online or in person?

I know this subreddit has rules against looking for romance, but this is just an example:

My father told me the key to get girls, and really anything you want in life, is by acting aloof, like you don't need the thing the other person has, or you don't like the girl.

And on the one hand, that definitely appears to be the case. People think I'm cool, and girls like me from afar, but the moment I reciprocate interest, platonic or otherwise, I feel like I have to chase them down.

But on the other hand, if that the way the world is, it seems so inauthentic and fake. Not worth living in as is.

I'm not sure if this is going to be a rant or discussion, but I was out with a group yesterday. I found it so irritating being there, I had nothing in common with any of them and I felt their very presence aggravating. One of my friends was supposed to be there, but he couldn't make it.

I thought to myself, this isn't good. I'm not even thirty, I'm not supposed to be this crabby or socially averse. I thought, "Well, this just isn't my scene, I'm sure I'll open up when I find people like me."

So I came home, and then I thought some more and wondered, "Is this how hermits think?" They just don't vibe with people and so they allow their social skills to deteriorate until they have none and become hikikomori or some other type of shut-in?

Sometimes you don't know if you and the other person actually vibe until you get past the small talk? Like they'll be talking about their mundane Saturday, passively name-drop of show and turns out, you're both mega-fans.

I've been acting this way, less talkative, more introverted, because I feel my conversations are all small talk. All superficial. But now I'm wondering if I'm giving up too soon.