Need advice - Confused and lost - Catholic girl I was seeing walked out
I 26/27M (have my own apartment in the city) had an amazing connection with a 24/25F South Asian Catholic (lives at home w parents); we saw each other for ~1–2 months, she made me meet her friends for hours for drinks, spoke for many hours on the phone, talked marriage/kids, and she kissed me at my home. I even agreed to go to mass with her and she agreed to celebrate Diwali and Eid twice a year (culturally). Agreed on so much. She’s dated only 1 person before for a month.
She knew from day one that I’m not Catholic (Muslim mom, agnostic Hindu dad, mixed religious upbringing, I like to pray privately, believe in the practical teachings of Buddhism and the Bible and some kind of life after death) and seemed completely okay with it. She said her bother married a Hindu girl and he laid the groundwork for her who sister is with a Jewish guy and herself. After she told her parents about me, they reacted badly; they said “they have failed as parents”; “are you going yo see your Muslim bf”; her mom apparently said some really really mean things about me/my mom that she wouldn’t tell me; then we met once more w a mutual friend of mine to just hang out. I said a few things in passing like I don’t mind moving to Dubai; she then slowly distanced herself, then went on a 10-day vacation with friends with almost no contact which was so confusing and anxiety inducing after all her actions led me to believe otherwise.
When she returned, she suddenly ended things, saying my beliefs were too complicated, that the world is already such a confusing place, that she wanted a Catholic partner/united front for future kids, someone born here, raised in a detached house, for her kids to meet their grandparents, and other things about me not getting the Catholic milestones.
I understand her choice and people are allowed to walk out. I’m guessing she saw the difficulty of integrating me into her big extended Catholic family?
I’m struggling to understand why she pursued me and took so seriously when she knew all of this from the beginning—did her parents change her mind? was this always doomed? Is she just immature? Why would she take little things like I grew up in an apartment or would be open to moving to Dubai as the major dealbreakers? Was she always like this? Is this normal for Catholics? Why spend 5-6 hours w me on each date in addition to 5 hour phone calls? Why do I feel like there’s something wrong with me? Why even try when she knew her parents were against her brother’s marriage and gave him hell for 12 months before he got engaged? Is this normal for Catholic girls? Why did she make me feel I’m the problem w my beliefs? How come she’s open to sex before marriage and living together before marriage but draws the line here? I fully respected hers…I’m still feeling confused, sad, betrayed and experiencing cognitive dissonance on how someone can change so quickly.
Looking to excatholics to chime in and help me make sense of this. So confused… :(